But only Victoria's laughing now.
Let me backtrack. It is well known that toddlers think that adults are idiots. I ask my little girls what sound a cow makes at least 20 times a day. They always happily answer, but you can kind of see in their eyes a look that says, "You, sir, are a moron." At least that's the look they give me with 99% of the animal sounds I ask them to make. It is only when I ask for a dog sound that the look changes. Then I get total silence and a dammit-the-big-man-is-trickier-than-we-thought look of vacancy and embarrassment. My girls are incapable of making a dog sound.
It's probably my fault. I could never decide if dogs say woof-woof, arf-arf, bow-wow, ruff-ruff, or, my favorite, the Japanese wan-wan. So as a result of being given too many choices, the twins are paralyzed like apoplectic deer in headlights when asked this most common of questions.
But none of this is why I think Lila is in danger. I'm getting to that. Be patient.
Animal sounds are not the only idiotic questions we parents pepper our children with. Far from it. And the latest question in the LookyDaddy household is, "What is your name?"
I place my hand on Lila's head. "What's your name?"
I place my hand on Victoria's head. "And what's your name?"
Both twins scamper off, giggling.
It used to be funny. Now only Victoria laughs. "I Lila! Tee hee hee!" And Lila and I look at each other nervously. Lila's not old enough to understand the intracacies of persona mimicry or identity theft, but she does know that there's only one Lila, and she's worried that soon it might not be her.
I live in constant fear that one day, after nap, I'll go in to the twins' room and there will be just one baby.
"Lila? I Lila! Tee hee hee."
But for now, Victoria is showing no signs of appropriating anything other than the name. Still, I'm keeping my eyes on her. And maybe I'll install a nanny-cam in the nursery. Just in case.