Ask The Dad

The Mom is upstairs fighting off a fever and a sinus infection, so I'll just answer a few letters today.

Dear The Dad,

You are the only male in a family with four females. That would drive my husband crazy. How are you handling it?

Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

It's not the number of females, it's the number of bathrooms. We have one. But down in our basement, down in a corner of our unfinished basement, down in a far corner of our oh-so-recently-filled-with-sewage unfinished basement, I've got a little bucket, a bar of soap, and a razor. It's called Daddy's Special Place. Nobody is allowed to bother Daddy when he's in his Special Place.

The worst indignity I've had to suffer, however, is when one of the moms at my oldest daughter's school remarked to me, "Four women and a stay-at-home dad. There's just not an ounce of testosterone in you house whatsoever, is there?"

Dear The Dad,

My wife and I have been asked to baby-sit for a friend's twins on a regular basis. Just once a week for about six hours. Our friend offered to pay, and my wife had no idea what a fair price would be, since we love the twins, but are frightened from your stories. She went off to research and take surveys of fair prices; I suggested we ask you.

Thanks,

AJ

Dear AJ,

Not only should you babysit your friend's twins, you should do it without charging them a dime. Just think how six hours a week with twins will help you save the money that you would otherwise spend on horror movies, skydiving, bungee jumping, driving in Boston, heroin, roller coasters, or any of the other methods that more mundane people use to get a rush.

Plus, think of the karma, man, the karma! Taking another person's twins for even half an hour would pretty much guarantee that your next life will be significantly closer to nirvana than your current one is. Up that to six hours a week and you might just have to plant a Bodhi tree in your backyard.

Got a question for The Dad? Email me.

Email The Dad

Comments

[Kate]

I totally agree on the karma bit.. and the babysitting for free... :D

[How About Two?]

Tell that mother from your oldest daughter's school that you'd be happy to show her how much testosterone there is in your house!

[Diane]

Two's right--you split an egg in two, after all.

[EOMama]

Dear AJ,
I'd be happy to offer my twins for 6 hours a week also; any six hours you choose. But before you say "YES!" to all this good karma you'd be racking up, I should probably tell you that they don't nap. At least, not this week while I have a sinus infection, bronchitis, and a throat infection. I should also mention that I caught these infections from them. They feel much better now, so they don't need naps.
Do I seem too bitter?
Sincerely, EOMama

[Kris]

Dear Dad,

I found your website the other day while browsing another twin mom's site. I know how to instantly make you feel better. Are you ready for this???

My hubby and I have twin girls that will be 4 in April and twin boys that are 8 months old. Yep, that's right... I just tell people that God has a sense of humor. ;)

I feel truly blessed since we did lose 3 babies before getting our girls, but yep... as you can imagine, our household is loud, busy, scary but usually quite fun.

I plan to show my hubby your site so that he can laugh with me. :)

Take care!

Kris

[Teri]

Kris--

I am filled with AWE and TERROR after reading your comment.

Our girls turned 2 at Thanksgiving, and the topic of whether or not to go for child number three has come up. After a hellish (okay, not sewage-filled) weekend of the mega-crankies because Monkey-Girl B wouldn't stay in her crib long enough to nap, it didn't take much for us to put off a decision.

So, the next time this comes up should I tell my husband we could end up with another set of twins? Surely he'll respond like Monkey-Girl A, a chair climber whose response to "please get down from there" is, "No waaayyyyy!"

[Tammy from Twinstuff]

I wanted to wish The Mom a speedy recovery! I hope you feel better soon!