Dear The Dad,
Curious on a guy's perspective...
After your kids were born, did you ever have a time when your wife wanted to be intimate and you didn't?
Thanks so much!
L, mother of three girls
Since the kids, has there ever been a time when my wife has wanted to fool around but I haven't? Well, not exactly, but certainly there have been some major changes in how she and I approach intimacy these days.
Not long after the twins were born, The Mom started to get into fantasies. One night, after the kids were all tucked in, she approached me with an idea, and it nearly floored me. She wanted to role play. "You be the plumber, out on a service call" she said coyly, "and I'll be the helpless housewife."
I was game, what guy wouldn't be? So I went down to the basement, dusted off my tool box, and headed back up to the bedroom. But my wife wasn't in the bedroom. She was in the bathroom. In a nightie.
"Oh, Mr. Plumber!" She batted her eyelashes. "Our toilet keeps running!" Hair flip. "And I'm home all alone. Can you help me?"
Funny enough, our toilet did keep running. I'd been meaning to get to it for weeks. So I opened up my toolbox, rolled up my sleeves, and fixed it the blasted thing. All the while, The Mom was all, "You're so strong!" and "What a big wrench you have!" and "You're getting so dirty!" and "What a man you are!"
It was hot.
My wife's fantasies didn't end there, though. A few days later, it was Mr. Handyman and the Helpless Housewife. I changed two light bulbs and rehung a fallen picture. "Oh, I love the way you screw that lightbulb!" Then it was Mr. Painter and the Helpless Housewife. I painted over some old water stains in the bathroom. "Prime it, baby, prime it!"
I thought that these fantasies would eventually peter out after a while, but they didn't. My wife had a seemingly endless supply of kinky sex fantasies. There was Mr. Gardener and the Helpless Housewife, Mr. Floor Cleaner and the Helpless Housewife, Mr. Empty the Dishwasher and the Helpless Housewife, Mr. Clothes Folder and the Helpless Housewife, the list was endless.
Somewhere between Mr. Laundry Pre-treater and Mr. Cat Litter Sweeper-Upper, she began to forget the lingerie, and soon after that the hot sex became less and less pivotal, but my wife assures me that this is all part of the fantasy. "You wouldn't want me to sleep with every handyman that shows up, would you?" she explained. "What kind of girl do you think I am?"
I'll be honest, when I married her, I had no idea that this woman would turn out to be so kinky. I must be the luckiest guy in the world.
Hope this helps,
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