First there was Lila and her filthy mouth. Then came haiku. Now it's time, well past time, actually, for a new contest:
Limericks.
Don't blame me. It wasn't my idea.
The rules are going to be the same as last time, but since we've gained a good deal more readers since then, I'll elucidate them again.
Write a limerick about any aspect of child-rearing. To help, here are some links which may prove useful:
Rhyme Zone for those who are looking for words that rhyme with poop (but please, for the love of God, do not use their suggestion of 'pea soup'. That's a couplet that should never be written.)
Synonym.com for those of you who shamefully do not own a thesaurus.
Wkipedia on Limericks in case your day is not complete without reading words like anapestic foot or dactyl rhythm.
Once written, submit your limerick below. There is no limit to the number of submissions you may make. We'll accept submissions from now until Monday, January 15th, 10:00 PM Eastern time.
Last time, we had a wonderful guest-judge, Emily, over at Dream/Baby Haiku. She has graciously accepted my request to judge again, which thrills me no end. On Tuesday the 16th, Emily will choose the finalists by whatever means she feels is appropriate. (She's a poet, so God only knows how she does these things. All I know is, based on her choices last time, works referencing poop, boogers, and hineys have a good chance at the finals. Works referencing homeostasis? Not so much.)
On Wednesday the 17th, I will post the finalists as chosen by Emily, and then open it up to a popular vote until Thursday evening, with the winner announced in Friday's post. The winner will once again receive an exclusive Looky, Daddy! Please Help Me Through Another Day with My Kids gift pack, which includes a pound of dark roast coffee, a pack of chocolate-covered espresso beans, and a gift certificate for a dozen glazed Krispy Kreme donuts.
I'll start off with a few of my own:
Stay at Home Dad
There once was a guy who taught math
Then his life took a different path
Now it's diapers and tears
And powder on rears
And fishing out turds from the bath
Inspired by True Events
My babies are always en garde
Finding veggies they'll eat is quite hard
They shun the small pea
From the carrot they flee
But they'll gladly eat dirt from the yardI'll Be Sleeping on the Couch Tonight
Our marriage has been on the skids
We fight like vermicious knids
Though divorce is a thought
It's a war best not fought
What if I end up with the kids?
Surely There Must Be Some Mistake
I could hardly believe it was true
All we did is what other folks do
But the doctor was there
And he said, "Look, I swear
There's not just one heartbeat, there's two!"
