The Right Tool for the Job

Thank you for your emails, comments, advice, and even phone calls. You will be happy to know that the bird currently eating my liver is a good three sizes smaller that the one munching on it but a few days ago. It is now roughly the size of that muppet on Sesame Street. Just not as cheerful.

Truth be told, the whole situation has been about a tenth of the ordeal that I have been making it out to be. For one thing, The Mom has been here. She took the week off work for Kathryn's winter break and she has had us running hither and yon on so many fun-filled adventures that the babies have been all but begging to be put in their beds by the end of the day.

Also, we have found the right tool. As a guy, I'm a big believer in tools and I firmly believe that the proper device can make almost any situation manageable. For a while, I could not figure out which apparatus rusting away on my neglected basement workbench would help keep these girls in bed. I went through the usual suspects, duct tape, toggle bolts, bungee cords, hook and eye clasps, but all of them either left marks or created what I was told was a "non-nurturing environment." Whatever.

But stay-at-home dads have other tools, too. Tools that aren't made of steel, iron, or shiny silvery tape. Tools that are plush, cute, and snuggle-able. Tools that look like this:

These tools are very sensitive. They get lonely. They need company. They must be held and kept in bed. They can't handle loud noises or jumping. If anything happens that disturbs these highly-specialized tools, then they ask to come sleep with Mom and Dad.

You wouldn't want that, would you? Of course not. Now go to bed, little ones. Go to bed.

Comments

[Loren]

How cute are those puppies?! They were puppies, right? My memory isn't as good as it used to be since the girls were born. Hey, now that I think about it, neither are my abs, butt, energy level, sex drive, hygiene (they may be linked), or medicine chest. Wow, thanks for the real pick-me-up.

[The Mom]

I want everyone to know that Kathryn took the photo of the snuggle puppies (aka sleeping tools) all by herself.

[The Godfather]

The Dad and The Mom,
That is genius! I must have one for my tool box when my little one gets to be that age! She's already sitting up by herself!

[acesamie]

I love it!!!! What a great way to keep the little ones in bed. :)

[Monkee]

You are an evil genius! May I worship at your hen pecked liver?

[Diane]

Congratulations to the little photographer in the family--nice job! I'd hire her to work for my magazine, but child labor laws say otherwise. ;-)
And congrats to The Dad for making it through the liver-plucking and for coming up with such an ingenious solution. We knew you'd make chicken salad out of that big ol' bird.

[Erika]

I kinda want one of those for myself. You think if I start jumping up and down on the bed hubby will buy me one?

[Holly]

Congrats on your huge victory! It's sweet when things work out the way you want them to. Genius about the specialized tools that need hugs and cuddles and no loud noises.

[Swimming In Laundry]

We also use these cute tools for bedtime peace; unfortunately, one of the boys found a seam and gutted his beloved pup-peeee. It is amazing how much crying a previously stuffed animal can do...off to find another tool before naptime...

[Jennifer]

You really are genius parents! As usual, I am in awe. Now tell me where I can find my own set of those cute puppies. I'll be needing them soon enough.

[ChristieNY]

Brilliant!!! :)

[Cakes]

very clever...

[Sharon with J and N]

One of my daughter's "tools" was Simon, a pink teddy bear. She has been attached to that bear since her little fingers were able to grasp. For my other daughter, the "stay in bed" rule had long been established. For J, well, she was still fighting it tooth and nail. She just couldn't resist coming out to visit us in the living room after lights out even though she knew the price of the adventure. The night we knew we needed a tool, was the night she came out to us arms extended with Simon as an offering to us for a final hug and kiss before she drifted off to dreamland. We said our good nights for the second time and after she was fast asleep, I tucked Simon back in beside her.