There are a few places left where Lila has not vomited. She hasn't vomited in the basement, for example. Nor has she vomited in my closet. And by vomit, I mean gently tilting her head back and using her throat to open a direct channel to the bowels of hell. This is vomit like I've never experienced. Honestly. Given a Lila-sized water balloon and a straight pin, I would not be able to replicate what this sweet child can do with just a stomach.
I know they say the human body is 65% fluid, I just don't expect to see all of it at any given moment. Especially with so little warning.
And this is really not a good time for this. Her first day of preschool is tomorrow.
How long does a child need to be vomit-free before they can attend school? Two days? One? Twenty minutes?
She didn't vomit at all yesterday, which gives me some hope. Of course, when she didn't vomit on Friday, it gave me hope then. Hope enough to go grocery shopping.
Clean-up on aisle six.
Updated on Sept. 11: First let me say that it is with no great surprise that almost all of you endorsed sending the kids no matter how much puke Lila was spewing. And I'm glad my kids don't go to school with yours is all I'm going to say.
Still, it has been 48 hours since Lila last "called Australia" (It's a phrase from my Czech friend David. For a while, he was on a campaign to make everyone admit that the name "Melbourne" sounding like someone vomiting. I'm not sure if it ever caught on over there. In his early twenties, David had as many euphemisms for puking as the Inuit have for snow.) So off to school she goes. Huzzah! Stay tuned later today for my first child-free post since this blog began.
Oh Man! You guys have had a rough week. Sending no-puke vibes your way.
Posted by: debbeeanne | September 10, 2007 at 10:36 AM
When the doctor asks why a youngish single man would be in his/her office demanding a vasectomy, yours will be the URL on the slip of paper that I silently hand over.
Posted by: You can call me, 'Sir' | September 10, 2007 at 11:11 AM
Poor Lila. Poor you. Poor toilet (bucket, floor, aisle 6). It's a good excuse for her to have lots of popsicles.
My 4 yr old threw up for the 1st time just a few months ago. I'm peacefully sleeping when, at 1am, she gets in my bed, drenched in her own vomit & before I can toss it onto the floor, she leans over me & proceeds to do more of it all over me.
I hope Lila gets well & no one else gets that bug. And the rule is 24 hrs of no-vomit but what the school doesn't know, won't hurt them.
Posted by: cindy | September 10, 2007 at 11:32 AM
wow. i just referred to my child as an "it". I guess she didn't appear human to me in the middle of that mess.
Posted by: cindy | September 10, 2007 at 11:33 AM
24 hours...there is hope!
Posted by: Vikki | September 10, 2007 at 11:49 AM
Gold Five: Stay on target.
Gold Leader: *We're too close!*
Gold Five: Stay on target!
Gold Leader: [shouts] Loosen up!
Gold Five: Gold Five to Red leader, I Lost Tiree, Lost Dutch. They came from...behind!
Posted by: Swamper | September 10, 2007 at 11:57 AM
Cindy: I think all children should be called "it." Giving them names just makes us attached to them.
Posted by: The Dad | September 10, 2007 at 12:17 PM
Oh man. Your first day of freedom hanging in the balance! As a pediatrician, I say send her tomorrow. (This coming from the doctor that sent his kid to school with raging pink eye on picture day!) If she hurls, just act like it hasn't been happening for the last 5 days. Unless you don't want her scarred for life with the reputation of "the puker." Don't we all remember the kid that spewed everywhere in school? What's more important - getting all the kids out of the house or branding your daughter for life? SEND HER and have a martini for me!
Posted by: John | September 10, 2007 at 12:35 PM
i don't have kids but I feel for you
Posted by: Mia | September 10, 2007 at 01:04 PM
Dude, I took my kid on a plane when the Pediatrician said she had "A-typical Chicken Pox" and needed to be quarantined. I refused to miss my fun-filled Disney vacation, contagions be damned. Did you hear about it on the news? No? That's because nothing bad happened.
Surely the world (aka Preschool) will survive a child who, perhaps, has a touch of food poisoning or is, maybe, experimenting with her inner-Bulimic. What they don't know can't keep you from enjoying your first hours of FREEDOM. All kids at school=your Disney vacation. Now go play with Mickey already.
Posted by: Burgh Baby's Mom | September 10, 2007 at 01:14 PM
You poor bastard!
Posted by: Petunia | September 10, 2007 at 01:24 PM
Ick! Does she get sick often? Or is she making up for lost time?
Posted by: loren | September 10, 2007 at 01:54 PM
Don't send her... there is sending-sick-child-to-school karma. It bites you back hard.
Both my boys had a lull (23 hours puke-free!) after 3 days of puking when they were 3 months old. I sent them to day care and they got sent back home ONE HOUR later. They continued to puke for 7 more days. Day 5 into this puke-fest, our city found e coli in the water system and the entire town was on a boil water notice. Then my husband got sick, puking in a bucket in our living room.
Do not anger the puke karma gods. Be warned.
Posted by: LauraC | September 10, 2007 at 01:55 PM
Aw, poor girl. Poor you. I hope she feels better today and can get to school tomorrow!
Posted by: Greatexpectations (GE) | September 10, 2007 at 01:57 PM
For those of you keeping score at home, I was the one holding Lila when she let loose at the store.
Posted by: The Mom | September 10, 2007 at 02:40 PM
Terrible! Good luck.
Posted by: tuesday | September 10, 2007 at 03:38 PM
You have GOT to change the masthead. I'm not particularly claustraphobic, but my chest and throat tighten up every time I see it. Argh!!!
(Love the blog)
Posted by: Leah | September 10, 2007 at 06:49 PM
Really, Leah? You can't look at Kathryn buried in sand? Not even for a moment? Because, seriously, it didn't even bother her for the first, oh, twenty minutes or so. And the tears didn't come for another ten. All in all, she probably made it a good hour and a half before she totally lost her mind.
Posted by: The Dad | September 10, 2007 at 07:55 PM
This blog makes me want to wash my hands. Every five seconds.
Posted by: Jess | September 10, 2007 at 10:06 PM
And I thought you had my pity BEFORE. Sheesh. You are so freaking funny, though, if it's any small consolation.
Posted by: sasha | September 10, 2007 at 10:34 PM
What a week you have had. Amazing job dealing with it btw.
Has anyone else been vomiting???
Posted by: Veronica | September 11, 2007 at 02:53 AM
I'm pretty sure that no child in the history of the world has been able to get out of the first day of school just because of a teensy, tiny little bit of vomit, catch my drift?
Posted by: Tammy | September 11, 2007 at 07:00 AM
Burgh Baby's Mom: No, we just didn't hear about it on the news because the three dozen people whose kids got chicken pox the following week didn't know who to blame. Now you've outed yourself you are gonna get so much hate mail.
But hey, didn't people use to pile their healthy kids into bed with the infected ones to get it all over with (that's what he relates in The Great Brain anyway)? You did them a favor.
Posted by: Amy | September 11, 2007 at 07:27 AM
My sympathies, and my fingers are crossed that Lila makes it through the school day vomit-free.
Posted by: Angela | September 11, 2007 at 08:59 AM
PLEASE, PLEASE do not send a sick child to school, even if you're in danger of doing yourself in otherwise. Please?
Posted by: JP | September 11, 2007 at 01:21 PM