I do these things so you can feel better about yourself. I do them so tonight, you can kiss your spouse and say, "At least you are smarter than that guy in that blog that I read. Not as hot, sure, but a hell of a lot smarter." I do these things because deep down, underneath the gruffness, underneath the facades, underneath the cynicism, I am a moron.
And these things I do are camping trips.
Every night since our last attempt, when the twinlings are tucked into bed, Lila has asked hopefully, "Are we going camping tomorrow, Mommy?" (Of course, it is Mommy she asks because my wife has requested that my "interactions" with the children be kept to a minimum after dusk, since that's when I'm more likely to "lash out" at them "with my words." Or my "foot." Or my "car.") Yes, Lila asks this. The same Lila that woke up screaming every 40 minutes the last time she slept in a tent. So after putting them to bed, The Mom always comes over and unlocks me from my room and we all have a good laugh at Lila's ridiculous question. Then, one day, I said--I said--"Why don't we try it again in October." It's like I was watching someone else say it. Someone with different kids, or no kids at all. Or maybe I was thinking that October only comes every twenty years or so, you know, like it does for the Mets.
But October has come. And camping we are going. Tomorrow. Now that last time we tried this, you, Gentle Reader, commented with suggestions both good and wise, telling us to buy a trailer or rent a cabin or screw the whole thing and stay in a hotel, and I'd like you to know that we are completely ignoring you.
Our stupidity knows no bounds.
Well I shall only say good luck then :)
Posted by: Veronica | October 06, 2007 at 04:49 AM
So much good luck headed your way. But not so much that it takes away from the good luck we need since my husband decided we too will try again--for 6 days.
Posted by: Crystal | October 06, 2007 at 09:24 AM
We woke up to two inches of snow this morning. I hope it's warmer on your side of the continent.
Posted by: Katie | October 06, 2007 at 10:50 AM
That's funny because I was just talking to my husband about how maybe we should try more new stuff with the kids (like camping), because this hot blogger makes it sound like so much FUN!!! Because I, too, am a moron. Just not a brave one.
Posted by: Tammy | October 06, 2007 at 12:59 PM
You are a good man to take that on so I can laugh at you. I've tried it a few times (five kids! Two of them under 5 yrs) and it's always nothing short of miserable--for the grownups, that is. Read: those who do the work.
My parents took us camping quite regularly, all 7 of us. I never realize what a buttload of work it was for them, just like my kids don't realize it now. But they kept doing it. Could they have enjoyed it, or were they just better parents than I'll ever be?
Posted by: Joe | October 06, 2007 at 05:09 PM
Well, have a lovely...
You're a braver parent than I.
Posted by: Tricia | October 06, 2007 at 07:52 PM
Perhaps it is your "friends" that should be on display at the Metropolitan Museum of Snickers. Dude, you've got a pair to be trying that again. Best of luck to ya'.
Posted by: Burgh Baby's Mom | October 06, 2007 at 08:28 PM
Good luck! : )
Posted by: Victoria | October 07, 2007 at 02:57 PM
Sadly, I must be the only one in this blog relationship that REMEMBERS the last time you ventured into the wilderness. I'm hoping when you are relatively safe at home you can just repress the pain again. Good luck!
Posted by: loren | October 07, 2007 at 07:44 PM
This line made me ROFL:
"October only comes every twenty years or so, you know, like it does for the Mets."
As someone who grew up in the shadow of Shea Stadium, that statement really illustrates the combination of poignancy, humor and persistance one needs to be a Mets fan.
Oh, and about the camping thing: ARE YOU NUTS? Oh wait, I know the answer to that question.
Posted by: Joy | October 07, 2007 at 08:01 PM
Our idea of camping is...well, we just don't. Can't wait for the story...
Posted by: bryan | October 07, 2007 at 08:47 PM
Ah no, loren, you are not the only one who remembers the last camping trip. In fact, I remember it as that experience that took 3 martinis for The Dad to stop crying about. He's not a moron, he's just INSANE!
Posted by: Jennifer, 3-Martini Jennifer | October 07, 2007 at 09:57 PM
Practice makes... er... better?
Posted by: Renata | October 08, 2007 at 10:46 AM
You know, it's because of people like you that schadenfreude is in the dictionary. I appreciate your effort.
Posted by: patrick | October 08, 2007 at 12:36 PM
At least you couldn't have had any better weather! (Assuming you were somewhere in the Northeast near New Jersey). Looking forward to the stories when you return!
Posted by: Mauigirl52 | October 08, 2007 at 01:27 PM
Hail Mary, full of grace, The Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst sinners, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners now and in the hour of our death. Amen.
Posted by: The Godfather | October 08, 2007 at 03:18 PM
Ooops. I meant to add this after the "Hail Mary"--
Repeat until camping trip is over.
Posted by: The Godfather | October 09, 2007 at 08:51 AM
Isn't St. Christopher the patron saint of lost causes?
Good luck, sir. You are a braver parent than I.
Posted by: Mia | October 09, 2007 at 01:29 PM