It's been exactly one week since we moved in. And exactly four days since The Mom left for California. Still no phones. Still no Internet. Still no nothing that isn't packed away in boxes with labels that must have made sense at the time but are now totally incomprehensible.
Still just one adult for three kids--three kids who are wildly excited about the new house and all the new wiring to touch, hot water spigots to open, boxes marked "fragile" to climb, and beds to jump in. Jump in but not sleep in, I'm sure you noticed. No, we are way to excited for sleep. Way too excited.
I'm dead inside. Go someplace else. Find your humor elsewhere.
I recommend DadLabs.
It's time that you made a game out of the unacking and get those kids working. She who puts the most stuff in the correct room without breaking anything wins. Who cares if they screw it up. You can just sit on the floor drinking a martini while they scurry around.
Posted by: Burgh Baby's Mom | November 29, 2007 at 10:18 AM
I'll be home at 7am tomorrow. Hold it together a little while longer.
Posted by: The Mom | November 29, 2007 at 10:33 AM
I'm sorry, but we can not accept any substitutions! It's LD or nothing!
Posted by: Anne Prince | November 29, 2007 at 10:34 AM
Dear The Dad, you will survive this. Yes, it may not be pretty and you may end up as a big, squishy blob on the floor amidst the boxes and mayhem before The Mom comes home...wait, where was I going with this? Oh yeah, you will survive. Sending good thoughts and my sympathies.
Posted by: Angela | November 29, 2007 at 10:56 AM
Dear TheDad
think about it this way. 15 years from now, when they all leave for college, have boyfriends (or girlfriends) and you're home alone, you'll think back to these days as "the good times"...
Posted by: D | November 29, 2007 at 11:39 AM
I've moved 7 times in the last 15 years due to the military. I finally got it down to a science and could have everything unpacked and put in it's place in 3 days. That is before I had kids. Now, I think we are keeping this house until they are out of high school and off to college. I really want a new house since we bought this one before we had the twins. I am just too scared to do this with my three kids. My son doesn't ever want us to move either. He loves his big backyard too much. Good luck and take it one day at a time.
Posted by: Tammy from Twinstuff | November 29, 2007 at 12:03 PM
This too shall pass.
Posted by: Margie Blystone | November 29, 2007 at 12:40 PM
This too shall pass.
Posted by: Margie Blystone | November 29, 2007 at 12:41 PM
I'd bet you managed to unpack the coffee pot and the liquor. It's nice, though, that you go to such great lengths to be sure The Mom knows she's missed.
Posted by: DebiD | November 29, 2007 at 05:46 PM
Dear The Dad,
My husband recommends this recipe for you:
INGREDIENTS:
1 roll of duct tape
1 blank wall.
DIRECTIONS:
Peel off long strips of duct tape and set aside. Ensure children are wearing close-fitting clothes. Tape children to wall. Take nap.
Posted by: Kat | November 29, 2007 at 07:26 PM
Okay, I guess this means I have to forgive the fact that I haven't received my haiku contest prize yet. It sounds like you need the coffee and espresso beans right now more than I do.
Or maybe you could try Kat's husband's duct tape recipe and then run out to the post office. Think about it -- some nice, fresh air and a nice, little break for you. I'm just thinking about your sanity here, that's all!
Posted by: Abby | November 29, 2007 at 09:37 PM
Hmmm. No Internet, yet you're posting. I suspect the children are chained in the basement while you run to Kinkos.
Posted by: Joy | November 30, 2007 at 01:15 AM
oooh, if The Mom will be home at 7 am, that means she's taking the redeye from CA (been there, done that many times). So tomorrow you'll have TWO exhausted parents in the house!
Posted by: metoo | November 30, 2007 at 10:51 AM
Clearly meeting The Mom in just your tool belt is no longer an option - nor that cute at 7 am. You need a plan B... hows about fInd the box marked TV and unpack it immediately! Strategically place bowls of Cheerios and grapes around the house and go to bed. The duct tape idea is solid too. This is no time for scruples. I bet The Mom will help you adhere them - just don't ruin your nice patching job.
Posted by: Heidi | November 30, 2007 at 12:20 PM
Do you have Gameboys? If not, go buy them, set up some sleeping bags for a "campout" and get some rest!
Posted by: Heather | November 30, 2007 at 02:12 PM
Good luck with your new house! I hope The Mom comes back soon so you can start to recover!
Posted by: Mauigirl52 | December 01, 2007 at 06:34 PM
Oh, my brother my brother. By the time I'm writing this, you're back to being narrowly outnumbered (kids:adults), rather than preposterously outnumbered. I definitely don't know how managed without support troops. My condolences.
Posted by: Polly | December 02, 2007 at 04:18 AM
There was a flub that delayed us getting our Internet service started, but The Dad should be back in business by the middle of this week. He will have many tall tales for you then.
Posted by: The Mom | December 03, 2007 at 08:24 AM
Whew! I was beginning to think that either (a) the twins overpowered you both and were running amuck gleefully without parental supervision, or (b) The Dad was SO glad you came back, The Mom, that he, er, exhausted himself to the point of not being able to type. (Which wouldn't be a bad thing. My hat would be off to you both!)
Posted by: Diane | December 03, 2007 at 12:28 PM
It's now the 4th of December. I'm afraid, very afraid.
Posted by: hazelblackberry | December 03, 2007 at 07:55 PM
Come back already! Delurking to say we miss you and are going through hilarity withdrawals! Hurry back to posting soon...
Posted by: Jamie | December 03, 2007 at 11:14 PM
wow, i just noticed that DadLabs link, www.dadlabs.com, it is really a great site. i love their videos. thanks for posting it!
Posted by: paul | December 27, 2007 at 02:56 PM