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November 04, 2007

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Oh yeah. This is my favorite time of year. A crispness in the air, Red Sox are World Series champs, the Pats are undefeated, and I will be thinking only in haiku for the next four days! Woohoo!!!

You can play with those annoying water flutes instead

Your bottom itches
Public shame at hands in pants
No more bubble bath

Wherein I answer the obnoxious question about the next child

I have only one.
No, I am not having more.
Screw you, have your own.

Cold is coming on.

The first signs - no play
now, sleep a little longer
Vomit is coming

sorry - I'm the one with vomiting kids!

The great mountain waits
Mom where are my underpants?
Doing laundry sucks

Reflections on Packing

At under three years
You own more stuff than I do
Just shy of forty

How I Find the Time to Shower

"Hola! I'm Dora!
And this is my best friend, Boots!"
cheap babysitters

Recommended Daily Allowance

Your first morning words:
Mama! I need choklit shake!
whine and lip tremble

Ver. 2.0

Our young otaku
face buried in his manga
just like his daddy

Approaching Two

Do you want some cheese?
No! Some apple juice instead?
No! No! No! No! No!

Cheese? Cheese? Cheese? Door? Cheese?
Can you say please? Peez. Tanku.
Mommy! Mommy! Kiss!


Getting Ready to Go

Time to put shoes on.
Go limp! I shall be shoe free!
No? Other ones! Orange shoe!

Quit'cher Whining

Grape jelly only
One kind of peanut butter
Stalinist sandwich

Twins getting out of the car

Come back here right now!
Because I said so, that's why..
Wait! Where's your brother?

Ahhh...Peace and quiet
Naptime, naptime everywhere
CRAP! What was that noise?

Yes, they are twin boys
You're right, they don't look alike
Repeat as needed

Yeah, twins are just great!
Why don't you take one of ours?
No...he's the good one.
(just kidding ppl, please don't attack me...I love them both and they are both good...so on and so forth)

The Dad-

I think you got a little over-zealous in the packing... you packed two kids that aren't yours into your masthead!

OK, I have to say: Liza, you rocked my world with your "Approaching Two" haiku. My 20-month old daughter sounds EXACTLY LIKE THAT.

Overcrowding

Mom, Dad, toddler girl
A new baby on the way
All in one bedroom.

Irresistible Force

Frantic mouse clicking
Signals disobedience
Put that down right now!

Godfather: We took in a second set of twins for the holidays. It seemed the charitable thing to do. And really, there's not much difference between two toddlers and four toddlers when Blues Clues is on.

It's Funny, For Now...

Teaching her to talk
Stupid us for not getting
That "clock" comes out "cock!"

How's this for a start?


I Love My Urologist

Just a quick snip snip
So easy, should have done it
When I was eighteen


The Stomach Bug

Oh, did you make doo?
As if I needed to ask
Poo runs down your leg


Do I Know You?

"Oh twins, they're so cute.
They must keep you real busy!"
Please get a new line


Gather Ye Thorny Rosebuds

Many people say
These are the best days-I say
When will you move out?

Bathroom Bliss

Put the hairspray down
Stop eating toilet paper
Trash ain't a toy box

BK VS. AK
Once we were quite hip
Traveling the globe with backpacks
Now van, three carseats

THE COMMON REFRAIN
You've got your hands full
Says he when spots twins plus one
I smile weakly

It's all ups and downs, right? well, third time is the charm...

How to stop THAT conversation at work

No coffee for you?
Are you finally pregnant?
Not anymore.

Curse you The Dad! How am I supposed to get any work done when this is so much more fun? And this goes on until Thursday? I am so screwed.

Stupid Questions People Ask

"Identical?" No.
I don't need a doctor's proof.
They don't look alike!

"Fertility drugs?"
Hello? You are a stranger!
How is *your* sex life?

--------------
If They're Like This Now...

I hear Evil laughs
Two find more trouble than one
Not yet 1 year old.

-----------------
New Heights

From coffee table
He does a victory dance
Uh oh. He's on top!

-----------------
The Obligatory Poo Haiku

Baby on the hip
What's that smell? Time to change. Ew.
Poo on the hip, too.

----------------
The Tables Will Turn

They have a big sis.
She bullies and does not see
they will grow bigger.
-------------------
Nostalgia

Little pink piggies
sticking out from overalls.
Soon they will be one.

-------------------
Are You Crazy?

Is it a wonder
I have this look when they say
"Oh! I wanted twins!"

------------------

That was fun, I may be back :D


Bedtime, Yet?

Running through the house
Screaming at high decibels
Is it bedtime yet?

CLUELESS MOM
Adorable babes
Brown stain spreading over sling
Target checkout line

WHY WHY
...now? ...there? ...with sister?
...hold hands? ...dead deer? ...ambulance?
...stop? ...crazy? ...too much?

I can't hear the girls
Silence always means trouble
Finger paint with milk

Drops upon the floor
White smears arched across the room
Freeze! Mom is coming!

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