Santa Claus must work fast at my parent's house. Between the twins and Kathryn, there's only a 45-minute window the night before Christmas during which all three kids are actually sleeping. Thank God for coffee. If my brother ever has kids, too, Santa might have to switch to methamphetamine.
At one point late in the evening, someone without kids had the idea to go outside and make simulated Santa noises to coax my kids to bed, a technique about as effective as waterboarding in creating a rest-conducive environment. Does anyone remember back in the 80s when Manuel Noriega was holed-up in the Vatican's embassy in Panama? For days we tried to get him to surrender, surrounding the embassy with loudspeakers and playing non-stop rock music at excruciating volumes. Far more effective would have been to send in a two-year-old and, very softly outside, ring a single sleigh bell. Noriega would have surrendered within the hour.
Kathryn's list to Santa was a short and inexplicable affair, the two major items being a digital camera and a mood ring. She got them both and proceeded to use one to snap hundreds of 5-mega-pixel shots of the other, resulting in photographic evidence that she experienced every possible emotion all before 7 AM Christmas morning. Like we needed proof.
The mood ring has been on her Christmas list for months, ever since she found one on the playground of her school. It wasn't hers, obviously, and she knew it had to go to the lost and found, but first Kathryn had to assess the mood of each and every person she encountered along the way. It took hours. The last person to wear it was the principal who, Kathryn reported matter-of-factly, was "aggravated."
The twins celebrated Christmas as countless two-year-olds before them have, by screaming with glee about each present that was theirs and then simply screaming about each one that wasn't. They asked for no specific present from Santa, mainly because they were not yet aware that they could. Santa-wise, the twins were in that blissful state of ignorance that allowed us to set our own rules, kind of like those delightful summers long ago when Kathryn still thought the ice cream truck was the "free music van." It will be sad to see that time go. Still, the twins handled the excitement of the day well, and only sporadically did they gift us with their own special presents of snot and tears, which is probably more than the Vatican can say about Noriega.
We had a two and a four year old visit us for Christmas day.
When we closed the door after they left, Jake and I looked at each other, shell shocked and said, "OH.MY.GOD."
"I'm so glad I'm an only child," Jake mumbled as he went off to his room...LOLOLOL!
(and we didn't even have TWINS over)
Posted by: scatteredmom | December 26, 2007 at 02:42 PM
Well....at least you survived to tell the tale...now, go and get some sleep!
Posted by: Angela | December 26, 2007 at 03:23 PM
Oh God why didn't I think of that "free music van" line! The ice cream truck is an insidious instrument of torture designed solely to torment young children who haven't had their dinner yet.
Posted by: Heidi | December 26, 2007 at 05:04 PM
No, no, no. When the ice cream van plays music, that's the signal that it has run out of ice cream. My mum told me that.
Posted by: Loth | December 26, 2007 at 05:16 PM
You must grace us with some original Kathryn photography. It sounds priceless!
Posted by: tilden's mom | December 27, 2007 at 01:25 AM
I might be falling in love with Kathryn. The principal was aggravated? Really?
Posted by: Liza | December 27, 2007 at 01:36 PM
If you, um "Santa," switched to meth, you could get Christmas done and have time left to scrub your floors with a toothbrush!
Posted by: loren | December 28, 2007 at 02:02 PM
I'm impressed that you managed to find a mood ring somewhere. Good job. Glad you survived Christmas.
Posted by: Michell | December 28, 2007 at 02:17 PM
I'm sure Noriega gave the Vatican some other bodily excretion that starts with "S". He seemed pretty good at that.
But I agree, we need to see some of Kathryn's original photography with her new camera...and see if anyone else in the household is "aggravated". :)
Posted by: Colleen | December 30, 2007 at 11:10 AM
Thankfully, this Christmas, my kiddo at 3.5 didn't know she could ask for anything either.
Beverly
Posted by: Beverly | December 31, 2007 at 12:08 PM
HAPPY 3rd BIRTHDAY, Lila and Victoria!!!
Posted by: Sue | December 31, 2007 at 04:22 PM
The free music van! I love it! We felt simulataneously relieved and disappointed that our twin girls (who just turned one) were too young to get the whole concept of gifts / Santa / etc. this year. They did, however, really learn to get into bows.
Happy birthday to your gals.
Posted by: Jane | January 03, 2008 at 10:25 AM
"free music van" -- LOL. I think that made my day, actually.
My nearly 2-year-olds (next week) are still gifting me with tears and snot. And, since Santa gave us all colds, I think we're also getting an ear infection! Yippee!
Posted by: Shawn | January 03, 2008 at 06:36 PM