4:42 AM. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, 4:42 AM.
For weeks now, Victoria has been waking up just a little bit earlier each day, and by that I mean a lot earlier, because face it, there is a world of difference between, say, 7 AM and 6:57 AM. The good people that invented the snooze button know that, and so do you. But each day, Victoria has been moving her individual crack-of-dawn up and up until today, when she successfully moved it right up my crack. Of dawn.
4:42 AM. That's when she woke up. 4:42. I guess she felt that these winter days are simply too short to squeeze in all the screaming fits she has planned, because, people, she is on a tight schedule and if she needs to wake up early to fit them all in, then so be it. The girl's got drive, is what I'm saying. And I ask you, when better to start a fit than 4:43 AM, right when I told her to turn off the light and get off the damned stack of books she was standing on to reach the switch in the first place. Because it's not enough to be awake by yourself, oh no, not when your twin sister needs to be told things, important things, like her teddy bear is on the floor, and God knows we need the light on to do that, right? And besides, we need the light on because it's dark outside, Daddy, look, it's dark. We need the light on because it's dark!
It's daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaark!
Screaming fit number one? Right on schedule. Looks like we'll have no problem fitting the rest in at this rate. No problem at all.
Oh no! I hope she doesn't wake up earlier still tomorrow. And to think I was complaining that my baby woke up at 6:30 this morning.
Posted by: Meg | January 22, 2008 at 03:47 PM
Can I get ya a beer? We need it.
Posted by: Petunia | January 22, 2008 at 03:48 PM
If she keeps this up, she'll soon be waking up before she goes to bed.
Posted by: becky from sc | January 22, 2008 at 04:01 PM
When my three year old had the same problem, we put a digital alarm clock in his room and told him he couldn't come out in the morning until the first number was 6. Of course, he doesn't know enough to read from left to right, so the next morning at 5:26am he was up and at 'em. We covered up the last digit on the clock with black tape. Now, he stays in bed until 6:00 which, believe it or not, is okay with us since our day starts pretty early anyway.
Posted by: Sue | January 22, 2008 at 04:36 PM
Oh, dear God, you've brought back horrifying memories. I don't remember what finally made it easier, but my son did that for a looong time one year and it was outrageous. When he was about 4 we were able to teach him to read the digital clock and he couldn't come into our room until a predetermined time. That still works for our kids.
Posted by: Jordan | January 22, 2008 at 05:22 PM
Been there...worked for me telling them not to wake the birds up that sleep on the roof.Gotta live fits before your half awake...TYLENOL!!
Posted by: | January 22, 2008 at 05:25 PM
I'm so right there with you... our boys have been awake every stinking hour on the hour for the last several nights. Nobody in the house is getting more than 45 minutes of sleep at a time, and when that 4 a.m. fit strikes, it's easy to just think, "I could get up now and save us all the 5 a.m. and 6 a.m. and 7 a.m. fits." Of course, that wouldn't really happen. They'd still throw the fits.
*sigh*
Posted by: Holly | January 22, 2008 at 06:12 PM
So much for recalling the laughter..
;)
Posted by: Baby Island | January 22, 2008 at 07:29 PM
You should seriously consider being a recruiter for the monastic life or perhaps a counselor for sexaholics anonymous meetings. A couple stories about your life and people would be totally willing to give up sexahol and the monk population would probably 'splode.
Posted by: You can call me, 'Sir' | January 22, 2008 at 10:40 PM
My wife and I are currently taking turns sleeping next the little one's crib because she's teething -- the baby of course, not my wife.
You'd think it would make us more understanding that our smallest child is in pain and can't sleep, but no. We still have to stop and count to ten before entering her room. At least I do.
Posted by: The culprit | January 23, 2008 at 05:56 AM
You are not alone. 'nuf said.
Posted by: Chip | January 23, 2008 at 09:28 AM
I do not function before 7:00 a.m., that would be absolute torture for me. I am so very sorry. I hope you can take a nap very, very soon.
Posted by: Angela | January 23, 2008 at 09:47 AM
Sweet Jesus, I am living the same nightmare! Have Emma and Victoria been plotting behind our backs? I feel your pain, my brother. We need martinis.
Posted by: 3-Martini Jennifer | January 23, 2008 at 10:02 AM
I can honestly say, "I UNDERSTAND YOUR HELL". All 3 of my girls (7, 4, 22 mo.) have done this strangle-provoking early wakings, and the youngest starts babbling away in her crib around 5ish. Since it's not morphed into tears for about another hour, i let her babble. But than this loud conversation she's having w/ her baby doll ends up waking the other 2 shin kickers, who insist on coming to MY side of the bed to make sure i know baby is awake & when am i getting up because it's dark downstairs & they need to eat right than, at 530am. What so chaps my ass is how they don't have any empathy for how i just polished off several alcoholic beverages only a few hrs earlier. Heathens.
well, that was damn long, but take heart in that it usually changes for some. Some.
IV that coffee.
Posted by: cindy | January 23, 2008 at 10:28 AM
I'm pretty sure that comment a few up from her from Chip is my husband, so I'll echo what he said. You're not alone.
We have seriously considered removing the light bulbs from his room. All of them.
Posted by: Nicole | January 23, 2008 at 06:06 PM
err...here. from here. which is now there.
Posted by: Nicole | January 23, 2008 at 06:07 PM
Oh, God. Been there.
Y'know, you could just flip off the power to the twins' room... It makes turning on the light a wee bit more difficult.
Posted by: k2 | January 23, 2008 at 06:45 PM
I'm shuddering just thinking about it.
Posted by: Victoria | January 23, 2008 at 07:55 PM
it has to be something with the full moon. i thought this post was funny until my son decided to get up for the day at 3:58. i guess that it could always be worse. right?
Posted by: RIANN | January 23, 2008 at 09:58 PM
I saw a segment on Dr. Phil or something about a woman who has deaf blind triplets. Let me say that again: deaf blind triplets. Because they have no external cues or input, she had this problem all night, every night.
OK, once more so that the horror can really really take hold: deaf blind triplets. Tomorrow I'm going get up before the crack of dawn and count those lucky stars while they're still shining.
Posted by: taado | January 24, 2008 at 12:36 AM
But who was doing the screaming? If I were in your shoes, the girls would be begging to stay in their room for fear of waking the monster, aka mommy.
Posted by: loren | January 24, 2008 at 01:09 AM
Did you gently explain to her that if she didn't get up at 4:58 it wouldn't BE dark?
Posted by: Mauigirl52 | January 24, 2008 at 01:21 PM
Oops, worse yet, sorry, 4:42.
Posted by: Mauigirl52 | January 24, 2008 at 01:22 PM
Oh, good Lord you crack me up. I could write a book about how freaking bad this week has been. I feel for you, though, I have to say I finally got to sleep at 4:42 a.m. today. And, I got to sleep in until 7:02.
Posted by: Shawn | January 24, 2008 at 01:42 PM
I'm still a little dumbstruck by the whole deaf blind triplets thing. I can only say that I hope karma really exists. And any complaint I had about my child waking up earlier and earlier now pales in comparison.
Deaf AND blind AND there's three of them? I need a drink just thinking about it...
Posted by: The Godfather | January 24, 2008 at 02:03 PM