Everybody Out of the Pool

I've said it before: My wife hates blogs. She really, vehemently hates them. It is a hatred that she and I shared right up until the time I started writing one. And while writing a blog has made blogs-in-general somewhat less abhorrent to me personally, it has only made The Mom's hatred of them stronger. Which would make our dinner conversations awkward if we ever had dinner conversations.

I started this blog in 2006 because of a Microsoft Word document. When I chose to be a stay-at-home dad, I entertained the idea of spending all my anticipated free time writing a book about the experience. Don't laugh. If you are a stay-at-home parent then you understand, and if you aren't, go find one and ask them what outside activity they had planned to do when they chose to stay at home. We all had grand aspirations, every one of us, fools that we were.

So my grand plan took the form of a word processing file. Whenever something interesting happened, I stole a minute and wrote a few words about it into the file. Poop on the wall? Into the file. Projectile vomit? Into the file. Poop and projectile vomit together? That could be a whole chapter! Into the file! As the weeks and months passed, it became clear to me that a book would not be forthcoming for a while, but I kept adding to the file, albeit my entries grew shorter and came with less frequency. I never kept the document open longer that it took to add a new entry, and I certainly never reread what I had written previously. That was reserved to sometime in the future, when I had more time.

Then, about 18 months ago, for some strange reason, I stopped and read what I had entered over those many years, and it should come as no surprise to you that it made no sense whatsoever. It was like reading every fourth word of the diary of a non-English speaker with an astounding case of Tourette's syndrome. "Spit up shirt wife break," was one line. "damn pj school me damn DAMN!," another. Sometimes the words did come in complete sentences, but with no hints as to why they were written at all: "The eighth graders at TC Wileman Junior High had to take a class in spelling." I'm sorry, but what? Spelling? Where the hell was that going?

After reading my bizarre document, I knew I needed to do something better or all of these memories would be gone faster than you can say, "a beer and a shot." The next day I started a blog.

And today I end it. Well, not end it, per se, but I am taking a break. A month off, let's call it. A short month: February. Just to collect myself and get a few things done that I've been putting off for a while.

And to have less awkward conversations with my wife about what I did all day.

See you in March.

Comments

[Lori]

Is this "February Fool" instead of April Fool???! Ok, you got me. Now I will be checking in again tomorrow and I expect a new post. Seriously, the Dad, I know you have a long to-do list and plenty of unpacking to do, but if you take a break, that's more time each day that I will have to get things done around my house. Jeez.

;) Lori (mom of 4.5 yr old twin boys)

[Sheila]

You'll be missed! But good luck getting things done in February, and have fun with the kids. I'll look for you in March.

[marisa]

:-(

Yes, yes, we fully respect your right not to post while you do More Important Things, but we'll miss you! Have a wonderful and productive (or at least restorative) February. It's a leap year, so you even get an extra day of it ;-)

[rachel]

I'll miss you. February is my least favorite month of the year and you are taking something pleasant away from me - you had better have something to show for yourself!

[bulhaa]

awwww....and just when i had started to read ur blog too...

well as long as u come back.

have fun!

[Carolyn]

we'll miss you, we don't blame you, and thanks for giving us a heads-up instead of us wondering if you were trapped under moving boxes.

I, myself, have been taking a break for months, but so far my former two fans have not been sending me threatening emails, so I think I'm safe. If you took a longer break than that, I'm not so sure the same could be said for you. :)

enjoy.

[Krys72599]

Just for the record, I will be checking each and every day for an entry, hoping against hope that you snuck one in without The Mom finding out... just to help us with our addiction, to keep us from suffering from withdrawal...
You will be missed.

[Lissfull]

Enjoy your break, if your life is like our life, you won't get anything done, but you'll enjoy the time off.

[Kerri]

As if the dreary gray cold month of February isn't hard enough to get through after suffering through the dreary cold month of January, the one thing that gets me through to the next day is knowing I can always enjoy a worthwhile moment whenever I check in to read my favorite blogs. You do know yours is at the top of the list, right? So good, in fact, it's linked from MY boring blog.

I don't know what will be worse: trudging through the month knowing I will laugh less or still checking in to find nothing. Again.

I think I'll go with the latter. Just in case you change your mind.

[Chickenpig]

I'll miss you! I hope you come back with a huge list of all the things you accomplished during your break. If you don't, that's cool too.

I for one, having actually worked in childcare a couple of times in my life, had actually no illusions of being able to do anything besides take care of two babies...none whatsoever. I was hoping to have my crap together by the time they were two, though, which hasn't happened. :( My husband and I kept a notebook just to keep track of what baby ate what...pooped when...got changed etc and it is absolutely terrifying how sleep deprived and incoherent we were. It makes for funny reading, though.

[Stephanie]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

[metoo]

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

[thewomanundone]

NNNNNNNNNooooooooooooooooooooo, daddy, don't go. I be a good girl now!!!!!

[BrooklynGirl]

Come back soon!

[Naughty]

WTF? I just found your blog a few weeks ago and have sent all my friends to come and read it....and now you're leaving??!! You even inspired me, hear that INSPIRED ME, to write my own again. Pffft to you. Have a nice break, but I'll be here when you get back.

[Rachel]

Okay, take your break, I understand, especially after seeing your pictorial to-do list (which I LOVE, btw, and may have to steal to create my own). Not only will I miss reading your updates, so will my childen! Seriously, my one twin boy often reads over my shoulder and always asks me to check to see if "Looky, Daddy!" has a new post. He loves the pictures of your girls. Hmmmm...could he be planning a future love match for him and his brother?

[PG]

oh, and just when I found this site. Oh well. enjoy. be productive. just remember it all and hit us with it come next month.

I got you in my reader, so I will await the day there is a new entry from Looky, Daddy!

[You can call me, 'Sir']

What you did all day? Twins, right? You have twins?

[Betsy]

Delurking to say you will be sorely missed. I absolutely love your blog and will probably have to check in every day just to make sure I didn't miss something. Enjoy the break, and don't forget to come back!

[Diane]

Withdrawal symptoms are already setting in... must... find... substitute... addiction...

Seriously, you deserve a break. As a fellow blogger who has only been at it since June '07, I understand the need. It's overwhelming sometimes--and all I have to feed and tend to in my home are dustbunnies, which comes naturally. Good luck with the to-do list, and we'll be waiting to hear about and share in your next adventures in Daddydom.

[Sconnie]

I knew you wouldn't be able to keep your hands off that jackhammer.

[Tricia]

Dad Gone Mad is a reasonable substitute, but with more swear words...

But, you'll be missed!

[Amy]

Damn.

[Katy]

You and Patrick from Bad News Hughes are going to Vegas aren't you? Dang, two good blogs down in one fell swoop of my RSS feed. Good luck with the wife. Sorry we're such hard asses (I know, I are one).

[sasha]

But it's a leap year!