Hello? Melbourne?

There are so many other things I'd like to be telling you about right now besides, you know, The Puking. But The Puking it is.

Only Kathryn and I are left.

The past 108 hours have played out like an art house horror film, with enormous bursts of energy and gore punctuating long, painful hours of mind-numbing tedium. First Victoria, then Sharon, and now Lila-- all have succumbed to the calls from Australia (Melbourne!), leaving Kathryn and me to eye each other distrustfully, knowing full well one of us will be next. We have a $10 bet on who will puke first. I plan to win and then use her money to buy myself a Webkinz.

In the meantime, if you like, you can see pictures of my girls and me before the flu tore us apart here, and if your Japanese is better then mine, you can even read a little about us. I personally gave up after I read "Veteran Housewife of Three" in the title.

Comments

[Kat]

My Japanese is as bad as my Australian. Cute pic though. Hope you're all done puking your guts out soon. =)

I don't know where to begin with that Japanese article. Do I ask if "Veteran Housewife of 3" means you are married to three houses? Do I point out that the Google translation of the article says your "housekeeping skills are still no match for Mr. Sharon"? Or do I say that I was momentarily blinded by your children's hair?

I think I'll just point out that your bald spot is showing.

[Laura]

"Three veteran foster daughter homemaker "

Your kids, according to this article are foster daughters and you are a veteran.

I have to say the google translator is quite entertaining. It's like someone took a very fun recreational substance and wrote this article. For those who can't translate and don't have software I've pasted it here:

[ Three veteran foster daughter homemaker

Mr. Brian Sargent

Brian Sargent said, raising three daughters struggling to a 7-year-old homemaker history. Eldest daughter was born when the series of major scholarly work as a publisher and editor of Mrs. Sharon has just a job. Brian, who was a math teacher in the profession, returned unchanged after the treatment, operators have less impact because, without hesitation my maternity leave chose to acquire it. Nearby is still a novelty, but also parents and friends cheering me. After a year's leave, study for the master's degree in two years to take off, but once I went back to work, and the twins were born-again homemaker. Teachers also "take care of a child" at the same point, if my children to see, I had the choice.

Housekeeping skills are still no match for Mr. Sharon, in a child's mind and say, you can get a better idea of Mr. Bryan. Send our daughter to school from 9 o'clock to 12 o'clock until one is the only time in the sideline of a book of mathematics and writing and editing, writing PAPABUROGU or diversion. Mr. Sharon returned home the evening, we are delighted daughter. "Unlike his father, the woman will go home soon, back to the child's mother could take care of. Here to give you a little bit of change is greater."

"It's fun raising children as a father" and affirm. Mom, child-rearing and housework can also believe it is natural for many, I tend to feel the pressure of it, "Daddy is perfect not expect people to be free and they can relax! Housework HOME just have to be a little mistake to try to condone it, I get it, "said Brian laugh.戻らずto carry on the work of teachers, plans to continue homemaker. ]

Sorry about all the puking. Hope this translation makes you laugh!

[Erika]

So the twins are born again?

That was fantastic Laura.

Hee! I used babelfish to translate the article before I read the comments, and it's kind of amusing to compare them:

[The veteran househusband who raises daughter three

Brian sergeant

The Brian sergeant is the veteran of the househusband history 7 years which struggle in parenting of three daughters. When the eldest daughter is born, as for the Charon of the lady who works as an editor of the major scientific publisher you just were employed As for Brian which is mathematical teacher, the occupation handle, after the returning treatment does not change, in the reason that, influence to the carrier is little, the fact that by his acquires maternity leave not to hesitate was chosen. At neighborhood it is still unusual existence, but the parents and the friend supported. Although after the holiday of 1 year, you took the off 2 years for studying the master degree, one time reinstated, when the twins are born, again in the househusband. If also the teacher in the point that "you take care the child", was the same, you looked at the trouble of your own child to be, with thinking, it was selection.

With skillfulness of the housekeeping it does not serve to the Charon still, but betting on especially and the feeling which the child says, Brian understands well. After sending the daughters to the school, morning to around 12 o'clock at the only alone time, you write the book of the mathematics which is outside employment from 9 o'clock, and you compile, write Brian and feeling convert. When the evening Charon returns home, the daughters are exultaion. "Different from the father, when the woman returns home, ' the mother ' returning directly, you can take care the child. It is large to be able to have alternating even a little here, is ".

"It is pleasant to rear child as a father" that you assert. In case of the mother, childcare and the housekeeping being possible, there to be many times when it is thought as natural, also pressure is tend to feel, but because "as for the person who expects perfection to the father it is not, you can be relaxed freely, it is! The housekeeping is praised just is done and, failing just a little, you make see approximately, being, "with Brian which is laughed. For a while it is the intention of continuing the househusband not to return to the teaching job.]

good health to all, and soon!

[Brian]

Oh, man, the bablefish translation is so much better. I like how I'm the Brian sergeant, and my wife is Charon, who, if I remember correctly, ferries the dead across the river Styx.

And isn't it nice that both translations refer to my job as a "struggle?" That was BEFORE the puking.

[Tammy from Twinstuff]

I really hope that things get back to normal soon! {{{Sending some anti-puking vibes your way}}}

[loren]

"math teacher, the occupational handle"

I'm still trying to figure out what "math teacher" is code for in trucker talk

The first translation sounds like he went in for a sex change with all that "Mr. Sharon" and "unchanged after treatment" talk.

But good luck with the blechhhhh betting. I'll put my money on Kathryn. Or should I say, my HUSBAND'S money. The joys of being a house spouse.

[Karen]

The question if you win is will she "help" you take care of your webkinz like my 4 year old niece "helps" take care of the cyber pets on mine and my father's myspace pages. His quote, which he makes her repeat from time to time is, "It is MYspace, not KaylaSpace!" =)

[R]

I thought that "Charon" was a nice touch as well. Heh!

(that was me up there with the babelfish; dunno why my "R" isn't there!)

[tripleblessings]

Hmmm. I wonder if you translate "the Brian sergeant" into Japanese and back again, will you get "the brain surgeon"? That would be cool.
Good luck avoiding the barf-bug. Sometimes somebody has a lucky escape, at our house.

[Burgh Baby's Mom]

I could swear the last time I saw you in a photo you looked a lot less Asian. It must be the hair weave you had put in.

Good luck with the puking or, hopefully, the lack thereof.

[You can call me, 'Sir']

Your girls look so angelic in that picture. Surely nothing awful can possibly pass from them, save things like happy flowers and strawberry-scented love. Stop being such a liar of lies with your talk of poop and puke!

[Stephanie]

Oh dear god I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. I too picked up on the Charon thing and was glad you noticed it - it sort of makes it all the more perfect.

[Heidi #2 but whose counting...]

Def on Charon from Wikipedia (start saving your gold coins...Does the wife make a lot of fat people jokes? Just curious... But if the wife is Charon that might make you Dionysus - god of wine and inspired madness! This is all making too much sense...

In Greek mythology, Charon (in Greek, Χάρων — the bright[1]) was the ferryman of Hades. He was the son of Erebus and Nyx.
Charon took the newly dead across the river Acheron or Styx if they had an obolus to pay for the ride. Those who could not had to wander the banks of the Acheron for one hundred years. Corpses in some regions in ancient Greece were buried or burned with 2 gold coins, called an aureus, on their eyes to pay the fare.
In various myths, the heroes Heracles, Orpheus, Aeneas, Dionysus and Psyche all journeyed to and from on the boat of Charon. According to Virgil's Aeneid (book 6), the Cumaean Sibyl directs Aeneas to the golden bough necessary to cross the river while still alive and return to the world. Orpheus also made the trip to the underworld and returned alive.
Charon was depicted as a cranky, skinny old man or as a winged demon wielding a double hammer. Aristophanes, in The Frogs, had him spewing insults regarding people's girth. In modern times, he is commonly depicted as a living skeleton in a cowl, much like the Grim Reaper or Dickens' Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come.

[Brian]

Winged demon, Heidi #2. Definitely a winged demon.

[Chickenpig]

I would try the Japanese, but all I got was ?????????????????????????????????????????????

Good luck on the whole not puking thing.

[Angela]

The horror, the horror...my deepest sympathies on the puking. My bet is on you to hold out, sorry Kathryn. Btw, the tree frog Webkinz is really cute.

[Anita]

Now that you have been translated into Japanese, I KNOW that you are my hero. And heroes don't puke.