Sharing

You know the sound a child makes deep in her throat just before she vomits? You know, the one that sounds like a frog beginning to croak just before he realizes that he's in polite company and swallows it back down? I thought about that sound a lot last night as I lay half-awake, with one hand on a trashcan, next to Victoria's bed last night. Here are my impressions:

It's the intake of breath made by a politician just before she delivers a speech destined to change how you live your next 24 hours.

It's the whirring of a five-disc DVD changer tray filled with five identical copies of Cutthroat Island.

It's the shot from a starting pistol for a race run in the basin of a partially-drained Hudson River.

It's the tapping of a conductor's baton, just before he leads an orchestra composed entirely of tubas.

Those are all I can remember now, but I'm sure there were more. Feel free to add your own in the comments.

Comments

[becky from sc]

How about this: It is the first ring of a 2 AM phone call that you know brings bad news.

[Brian]

Very nice, bfsc.

[Loth]

It's the sound of a good night's sleep slipping through your fingers

[Brian]

That it is, Loth. That it is.

[The Whole Jackson]

It's the click of the seatbelt that comes just before you ride Disneyland's newest attraction, Spew Mountain.

[Burgh Baby's Mom]

It's the sound of paybacks for all the hell you put your parents through.

[Swamper]

It's the gentle "scritch scratch" of your son's fingers against his scalp just before you open the letter his teacher sent home about the lice going around the school.

[@ndrea]

it's the distant sound of a helicopter (?!)coming closer and closer and then finally hovering over your boyfriend's car while you are on a first date, your first date ever, kissing after the movies at "the point", as they blare out "you need to LEAVE" on the loud speaker.
it's the sound of your racing heart as he scrambles to put the car in gear and get you home before your parents are alerted...

[Brian]

Holy crap, @ndrea, it's not THAT sound. That sound would have sent me to the priesthood before you could say "40-year-old virgin."

And where on Earth did you grow up that the make-out point was patrolled by helicopter?

[You can call me, 'Sir']

Perhaps it's the sound of every lecture you've ever heard on the merits of abstinence as the most effective form of birth control?

[LiteralDan]

It's the sound made before the flame spurts erupt in the Fire Swamp of The Princess Bride.

Coincidentally, it's also the sound made just before Dick Cheney speaks.

[@ndrea]

it was rainy.
the house/neighborhood i grew up in was in a meadow near a creek which had horse pastures (in san antonio, that equates to "flood plane"). when it rained, low water crossings would flood and contestants for the darwin awards would try and cross the flood lines to get back into the neighborhood, or out of it. so helicopters would circle around when they felt it was necessary.
i threw up in our rosebush before i went inside. it had been stewing around for the few minutes it took to get to my house.
everytime i spew, i'm reminded of helicopters. most people get butterflies in their tummy, i get helicopters.

[Nicole]

It's the gentle touch of a four-year-old's hand on your head, awakening you from your slumber to tell you that they've just thrown up and that's why your dreams smell like 3 a.m. in the hallway of a fraternity.

[Mel]

I'm so afraid to have children....lol...

[Katie]

Delurking to say... man, your kids puke more than any kids I've ever read! Perhaps you should start training them about the wonders of recognizing "that feeling" and making a dash for the bathroom, thus eliminating your need to lose sleep holding a trash can. I distinctly remember that conversation with my parents after making said frog noises one night, and then I heard it later in the evening when they explained it to my brothers. Bad night in our household - darn that Chinese food.

[3-Martini Jennifer]

Katie, if you know any 3-year-olds who can recognize "that feeling" AND run to a toilet in time, I totally want to meet them!

[Tammy from Twinstuff]

WOW, what a bad night! I really hope tonight is much better. I've been extremely lucky that in the six years since I've had kids, I haven't had a night like that.

[DebiD]

Tammy! Shoosh -- lest you anger the Karma Gods. They have a wicked sense of humor.

It's the sound of a locked door clicking shut just as you realize your keys are inside and it's pouring rain.

[The Mom]

It's the crackle of the intercom and then the pause that comes right before the announcement that your train home is late.

[@ndrea]

it's the sound that you hear as the alien pushes thru your sternum...

[Katherine]

For me (and my darling food allergic angels) its the sound of my mother-in-law's promise - "no, no butter, dear. The chicken is perfectly safe, I made it myself."

[Nicole]

Katie: What Jennifer said.

My mom swears that I never once recognized "that feeling" in enough time to make it to the bathroom before I was 16 years old.

[Mom of three]

It's the sound of a quiet tiny cough/verp you hear from down the hall as your adrenaline surges and you know that in the next five minutes you'll be changing your clothes too.

[Faith]

It's the 2 am alarm that means you are up for the day doing 14 loads of laundry and steam cleaning carpets repeatedly...all while your "little angel" sleeps like a log in your bed until 8 am.

[Heather]

It's the sound of the liquid swishing into your mouth through the neck of the almost empty bottle of Jim Beam after you realized you failed almost every one of your final exams.