What's that? I'm sorry, I can't hear you. Could you please speak up?
There's what on you? Mucus? Oh, yes, that's from my head. My head is leaking mucus.
I know, I know, it's gross. Listen, can you do me a favor? Can you look into my ear and see if you see something? A pencil, perhaps, or maybe a pen knife? Something sharp?
Watch for the mucus.
No? No, you don't see anything, or no you won't look? Nevermind. It doesn't really matter. I'm sure it's there. I'd look for it myself, but opening my eyes makes it very angry.
Can't you see it? A big, angry pencil? Deep in my brain? Leaking mucus?
You are no help at all.
I'll send my twins right over with their Sesame Street doctor kits!
Posted by: 3-Martini Jennifer | March 12, 2008 at 03:02 PM
Cheer up, there's a new comic in my newspaper about a stay-at-home dad.
http://www.creators.com/comics/daddys-home.html
Posted by: Lori | March 12, 2008 at 03:23 PM
I've been struggling all afternoon to figure out how to describe the pounding feeling going on in my head and I think you have nailed it. I'm positive I have a pencil stuck in my brains as well. NOTHING is helping. If you figure out how to remove the pencil, please share. I'm not sure how I'm going to get through the rest of the day!
Posted by: Tracy | March 12, 2008 at 04:00 PM
I'm sorry that your pain makes me laugh.
Hope you feel better soon.
Posted by: Catizhere | March 12, 2008 at 04:00 PM
Between you and Alice, I'm recommending that the CDC declare an immediate quarantine on New Jersey. I mean, more than the one that is there most of the time.
Posted by: Nicole | March 12, 2008 at 04:49 PM
Beware of pencils to the ear.
If you wanna curl up and die today, I'd be more than happy to join you. I think someone's been putting razorblades down my throat at night.
Posted by: loren | March 13, 2008 at 08:28 AM
I can't recall if I've told you this before, but will gladly do so here again for good measure:
When over-the-counter stuff isn't cutting it, it's time for the sweet delicious heroin.
Posted by: You can call me, 'Sir' | March 13, 2008 at 11:45 AM
Sounds like we need to invite "Sir" to our playdates.
Posted by: 3-Martini Jennifer | March 13, 2008 at 05:42 PM
Methinks it's more likely to be a crayon.
Get well soon!
Posted by: LiteralDan | March 14, 2008 at 12:00 AM
But what color, LiteralDan? And Jennifer, it's funny you should say that, because about 20 minutes before you commented, I got an email from my dad. It read, "the gmama is not amused by "Sir"'s comment!!!!!!!" That's seven exclamation points of disapproval for comments advocating heroin.
Posted by: Brian | March 14, 2008 at 07:56 AM
*huggles*
oh i do so love ur blog!
excuse me if i sound psycho.
Posted by: bulhaa | March 14, 2008 at 08:21 AM
Well, gracious me, it's not for the kids.
Posted by: You can call me, 'Sir' | March 14, 2008 at 10:09 AM
head filled with mucus...check...sharp pencil in ear... check... curious minds want to know, the dad, will there be puking involved with this? Sorry you are having such a run of virus filled yuck over there.
Posted by: heidi #2 | March 14, 2008 at 02:42 PM
Hey, missed ya (hope ya remember me.) Sorry it's been like a year, but I came back in feb and found nothing but...blah, blah, blah...taking a break, blah, blah, blah. Disappointing to say the least, understandable, of course.
Posted by: JudieDJ | March 14, 2008 at 03:49 PM
Don't worry, Gmama! According to a recent study, there are more illicit substances in the tap water here in New Jersey than you'd ever find in our homes. And we use filtered water to make the ice for our cocktails. :-)
Posted by: 3-Martini Jennifer | March 14, 2008 at 04:22 PM
Whew, now I'm feeling soooo much better.
Posted by: The Gmama | March 14, 2008 at 05:19 PM
... we filter the water for the kids, too.
Posted by: 3-Martini Jennifer | March 14, 2008 at 06:24 PM
The drugs in the tapwater are what make my days bearable.
Posted by: loren | March 15, 2008 at 02:12 AM