It's What the Internet Is For

What do you do when you don't have time to post? You share with the Internet something cute your seven-year-old daughter said. Like when we were driving through Newark and she read that sign on the side of the road and said,"No littering. $200 fine. That makes sense. I mean, who would mind if you littered two hundred dollars?" The Internet loves that kind of stuff. That crazy Internet.

So...while I'm knee deep in work, why don't you share with the Internet, too?

Comments

[Finn]

My 3.5 year old daughter sees anyone dressed for dance class and says "Look Momma! A ballerina-tard!" instead of leotard. Cracks me up everytime.

[Eric Nastri]

(Watch for falling rocks)

I would love to get a watch if rocks fall on the road, but who would actually give it to me?

[creative-type dad]

There are these signs down in San Diego that confuse my daughter -
They have a mom running with her kid lifting off the ground.

[Kate K.]

About an hour or so from Cleveland is a small little island called Catawba Island. The entire trip to the island there are signs reading "Catawba Is. (blank) miles." My husband was driving his grandmother one day and after years of passing this sign his grandmother became fed up and began yelling, "Catawba is? Catawba is what?! When are they ever going to finish that stupid sign?!" She was pretty embarrassed when my husband told her "Catawba Is." was short for Catawba ISLAND.

[loren]

I thought Kristin had tourette syndrome... she kept shouting "octagon! octagon!" Finally, I stopped the car and looked where she was pointing. Here she was announcing every single stop sign we had passed.

Yesterday, Emma and Alison had a convo that went a-somethin' like this: "Look! It's the triplets!" "Yep, it's the triplets." "They're so cute." "Yep, sooooo cute." That was the second time I've heard them say the T word. Apparently they pay attention to what strangers say.

Happy working!

[vbd93]

I didn't think this had to be about signs, so here you go:

My 3 year old son bumped his forehead on the side of the tub recently, put his hand to it, and wailed, "MY TWOHEAD! I HURT MY TWOHEAD!" I guess he forgot which number it was.

[Liza]

I love the "Slow Children" signs. They're just my favorites, have been since I was a child.

And if any of your girls want to come litter $200 in my yard, I promise, it is fine.

[lurky mama]

A sign in our favorite toy store reads:

"Unsupervised Children Will Be Given A Double Espresso And A Free Puppy"

My kids keep trying to get me to stop supervising and hoping the owner makes good.

[Jen]

When my son was 6 he saw a PSA about drinking and driving. He asked what it meant and I tried to explain about why it isn't safe to drink and drive and I thought he understood what I meant until he said "Drinking and driving is bad? So you shoudl only drink your beer when you're stopped at the red lights?"

Sigh. He's so literal.

[@ndrea]

my niece LOVES fudruckers. loves it. throws a fit if we pass it and don't go in. only, she could never really say "fudruckers" - it would come out sounding like "f*ckers".
my mom was so confused by this, she never knew what alayna was talking about and was mostly mortified that somehow, layna had picked up a foul word. one afternoon, Mom actualy DID take layna to fudruckers and when my sister in law asked them "what did you do today?", alayna exuberantly yelled, ""f*ckers, mommy, F*CKERS!!!".
mystery solved.

[Mia]

Love it!

Here's mine ...

My new car is a Volkswagen Rabbit. My five-year-old was sitting in the backseat, pretending to chew on the seatbelt (he's a weird one, I know) to make me laugh. I said, "Hey, did you know some people eat rabbits?"

He was interested, as we used to have Darcy the pet rabbit, and I realized that he'd never really been told straight-out where meat comes from. So I went through that discussion ... I said, "Hamburger comes from cows! Did you know that?"

"Oh!" he said. "I didn't know that!"

"Yes," I said, "All meat come from animals."

He thought for a minute. "What about ham?"

"Ham is from a delicious pig," I said. "And where do you think chicken nuggets come from?"

"Cows!" he said happily.

Sigh ...

[How About Two?]

I was thinking about writing a post about this, but since you asked first, I'll share here - apostrophes.

I am fed up with the misuse of apostrophes.

And lately it's been rampant, particularly when used to refer to decades.

The proper way to write the shortened form of 1970-1979 is '70s. Not 70's. This implies that 70 owns something.

And we see this on road signs (see, I am bringing it around to topic du jour) - new homes/condos being advertised "From the 200's". When, what they mean to say is from the 200s, as in $200,000-$299,999.

200 does not own anything.

[Anne Prince]

@ndrea - my MIL (who I adore) has the same problem - she calls it Rudfuckkers in all innocence - cracks me up every time she says it.

[Julia]

When I was little I went to preschool in a church. The church was called Saint Somebody's... so I quickly learned that St. was the abbreviation for Saint.
So one day I was in the car with my dad, driving down the highway when he pointed out our exit- and the sign that said Elm St. I, of course, informed him that he was wrong- it clearly said "Elm Saint"

[Heidi #2 but whose counting...]

When my daughter Sarah was 3 during circle time all the kids were talking about what they wanted to be when they grew up. The little girl next to my daughter announced she wanted to be a princess. Sarah promptly corrected her with "sorry. that's not awailable." Sarah next told the class she wanted to be a musician so she could make things disappear and a vegetarian so she could help animals!

[Jonathan's Mum]

My favorite sign was from a small fishing village up in Maine. It read:

"These sciffs are personal property. If you are found in one at night. You will be found in one in the morning."

Those Mainers ... no sense of humor!

[DebiD]

My favorite sign is at the Tennessee - Arkansas border "Welcome to Arkansas, Now Entering The Natural State". Makes me want to strip naked every time!

[monica]

This is a sign on a storage warehouse right near the MIT campus - when seen from a certain angle - it reads as RAGE WAREHOUSE- IRE PROOF. Have always loved this!
http://www.flickr.com/photos/wseltzer/2334861943/

[lurky mama]

At the state fair in the town I grew up in, the Sons of Norway sell vikings, which are basically just fried meatballs on a stick. Anyway, every summer they put up a huge hand-painted sign that reads:

"Vikings 1 for $2
2 for $4
3 for $6
4 for $8..."

all the way up to 10 for $20. OY!

[That Blonde Chick]

Ok, this isn't really about a sign, but it cracked me up. My twin boys were born in December and the hospital had decorations to make every belief and religion happy, including a Jewish Menorah. Because the hospital (obviously) couldn't use real candles, they used one that plugged into the wall and each day they would simply screw in the light bulb to light the "candle". Every day my mom would come visit the boys and on the way out comment on the lovely decorations. Except one. I believe we were on day four when she said, "When are they EVER going to fix that thing??? Every time I come in here the lights are burned out!" Do I need to say how embarrassed she was when we explained that they light one candle per day? *smacks twohead*

[That Blonde Chick]

Ok, this isn't really about a sign, but it cracked me up. My twin boys were born in December and the hospital had decorations to make every belief and religion happy, including a Jewish Menorah. Because the hospital (obviously) couldn't use real candles, they used one that plugged into the wall and each day they would simply screw in the light bulb to light the "candle". Every day my mom would come visit the boys and on the way out comment on the lovely decorations. Except one. I believe we were on day four when she said, "When are they EVER going to fix that thing??? Every time I come in here the lights are burned out!" Do I need to say how embarrassed she was when we explained that they light one candle per day? *smacks twohead*

[Jayme]

So I busted out the old "POLAROID" camera the other day and my 4 1/2 year old son was amazed that a picture popped out the front of the thing - so he snatched it out of my hands and went around the house taking pictures of his favorite toys, his little brother, me (I felt very special to be included), and his girl fish named Thomas.
Well a few minutes later my husband came home from work and our son ran up to him and said all in one breath " HOLY CRAP DAD MOM GOT ME THIS ASTEROID CAMERA PICTURES SHOOT OUT THE FRONT OF THIS ASTEROID CAMERA HAVE YOU SEEN AN ASTEROID CAMERA DAD I LOVE IT ITS THE BEST ASTEROID CAMERA EVER" My husband and I nearly hit heads on the way to the floor laughing our asses off!

[Cindy]

Do you read back on these things - I hope so. All his life, my husband thought the "Exit Only" sign meant he could not get back on the highway if he got off. He would often go miles out of his way to get off the parkway to get gas or food. I explained to him (at age 30) that it was the lane that was "exit only" not the highway.