Every time I get an argumentative comment on this blog, I get a call from my parents.
"Write something nice now," they plead.
"Like what?"
"Write something funny the girls are doing."
"Okay."
"But write it in a way that shows you love them," my mom quickly adds.
And so I hang up, open up my computer, and I start to write.
When the twins and I take a shower together, I write, they fight over who gets to use the cup to catch the water streaming off my willie. Then I hastily add, And I love them for it.
I'm probably going to get a call for this one, too.
I SO wish we would have had Internet back in the 70's when my son was born - my life would have been made tons easier just by sharing my questions and woes with others.
Posted by: allmycke | October 28, 2008 at 07:19 PM
I bow down to you and your guts in posting this. I'm pretty sure we've all been there, but good luck talking with your mom after this.
I'd expect it to be a few days, though.
Posted by: LiteralDan | October 28, 2008 at 08:22 PM
Sweet mother. That made me laugh so hard that the dogs came in to check in on me.
Posted by: Jarrard | October 28, 2008 at 09:14 PM
I'm pretty sure you're mom is gonna kick your butt.
But in the meantime I'll keep laughing mine off.
Posted by: Mad Woman | October 28, 2008 at 09:14 PM
You're terrible, man. And inexcusably hilarious.
Posted by: R | October 28, 2008 at 09:22 PM
My mom takes little "vacations" from reading my blog. She'll read it for a while until she becomes mortified, takes a break, then comes back when her BOSS pulls her aside to ask if she's read my site. Yes, that's right. Her BOSS reads my site.
Totally unintended consequence of starting a blog = having people you actually know find it and read it.
Posted by: loren | October 28, 2008 at 09:29 PM
A couple weeks ago, after a particularly difficult diaper change, I told my husband that our son had found his penis. Husband responded with, "Took him long enough. He found mine last week in the shower, and I told to go play with his own penis and leave mine alone."
Posted by: Taado | October 28, 2008 at 10:09 PM
Good Lord, you're a funny soul! I laughed so loud that I woke up my real twins along with their fake triplet sister! I think you wrote an amazingly nice post yesterday which offered great advice. Comparing parental hardships competitively is time not well spent for busy parents.
I thought Irish twins were any 2 siblings that enjoyed warm beer and had a strange affinity for belting out John Denver songs at pubs, no?
Posted by: Ms.M | October 28, 2008 at 10:45 PM
Damn, you certainly are funny.
Posted by: Carrie | October 28, 2008 at 11:16 PM
Hilarity! I temporarily forgot I had two broken toes.
Posted by: hazelblackberry | October 28, 2008 at 11:19 PM
Oh, Daddy. This is so wrong. So wonderfully, poetically, hysterically wrong. You should be ashamed. Of how much you just made me snort. Really, it was gross.
Posted by: Katstuff | October 28, 2008 at 11:49 PM
Ew.
Posted by: Carrie | October 29, 2008 at 12:27 AM
Classic LookyDaddy - SNORT!!
And to think he looks so innocent in person.....
Posted by: Anne Prince | October 29, 2008 at 07:13 AM
sick sick sick. And so are all of those who laughed out loud. Including me. ;)
Posted by: Sue | October 29, 2008 at 08:06 AM
You deserve a prize! Can't think of what specifically, but you certainly do deserve one.
Posted by: ~annie | October 29, 2008 at 08:42 AM
See, that's why I had boys. They can catch the water coming off their own willies.
Posted by: Kate | October 29, 2008 at 09:06 AM
chocked on my granola and 2% milk. ha!
i might show this to my mother and have HER call you...
Posted by: | October 29, 2008 at 09:33 AM
I can't stop laughing... I can't wait to have my husband read this so he know he's not the only one
Posted by: Michelle | October 29, 2008 at 09:52 AM
Thank you. Thank you for reminding me that there are people out there with the same twisted sense of humor as me and my husband. Don't know if I've commented before, but I find you hysterical.
Posted by: Elizabeth | October 29, 2008 at 11:14 AM
My son and niece took a both together (both are almost 4) and she said " Hey I like your tail"
Posted by: Robyn | October 29, 2008 at 11:37 AM
O.o
Wait for moment, as I recover from the shock.
Okay, now maybe you should consider dropping by your parents house and making sure your mom hasn't had a heart attack?
Posted by: Emma | October 29, 2008 at 01:06 PM
Yes yes, we have twins too, yes yes they do the same to Dad.
How's about they both get a cup and see who can fill it up faster?
My husband recently tried to put a stop to this behavior. "The only people who get to touch me THERE are doctors and Mommy." Which begs the question he got (duh!):
"Why would Mommy want to touch it?"
Posted by: Heather | October 29, 2008 at 02:01 PM
That is SO hillarious! You rock :)
Posted by: HappyCampers | October 29, 2008 at 09:02 PM
Oh yeah! Laughing so hard I think I just woke up one of my twins! But OMG that's SO funny (and just snarky enough).
Posted by: Kat | October 30, 2008 at 12:25 AM
Ooooh I thought your post was hilarious...and then I read Heather's comment! *SNORT*
After having twins, why WOULD mommy want to touch it ;)
Posted by: chickenpig | October 30, 2008 at 01:34 PM