For simplicity, I am discontinuing my inside-voice service. Outside Voice will henceforth be renamed All-Purpose Voice.
While you are free to disagree, "Poopy head" is comedy gold. I think the numbers back me up on this one, too.
Yes, I will tell you when I need to use the bathroom. Listen for it as you unload the grocery cart at the cash register.
Somewhere people are doing things wrong. I will go and look for them, then report it all back to you in detail. Don't go anywhere.
I accessorize with Band-aids.
Everything that has taken place from five minutes ago way back to when I was born happened "yesterday." I apologize for any confusion this may cause.
Based on my can-I-have-some-candy investigation, I have determined that you are a bad father.
And a poopy head.