I was at my doctor the other day, trying to come up with the right way to explain to him that my digestive system isn't working the way it should, which is a tricky thing to do because you want to convey the seriousness of any discomfort you may be experiencing but at the same time you want to have as few things in your ass by the end of the appointment as possible, when a poster for Botox caught my eye:
It had the caption "Unretouched clinical photos taken at maximum frown before BOTOX Cosmetic and 30 days after BOTOX Cosmetic treatment."
And as I looked at the photo, I couldn't help but ask myself, "But what about the children?" Seriously, if that were me at maximum frown, how would my children know the beatings were about to begin? I mean, it's one thing to be chased around the house by the person in the top picture, right? But the person in the bottom picture? That would be downright terrifying. Like an android. Or a serial killer.
My kids wouldn't even know to start running.
This is absolutely frightening. You're right on.
I've seen some of these androids in person, and Botox just makes so much sense.
In your case, though, it's probably best the kids DON'T start running, cause then you don't have to chase them. You should practice masking your Maximum Frown.
Posted by: LiteralDan | April 07, 2009 at 03:18 AM
I'm with Lindsay up there. Hold out til college for the Botox. After 14 yrs, my max like the top picture is permanent. I'm waiting for college - hopefully all the damage will be done by then.
Posted by: Jon D (Graco) | April 07, 2009 at 02:49 PM
Botox is bad parenting, for sure. But, um, you seem to have glossed over how the rest of your appointment went. The probings and whatnot...
Posted by: Tammy | April 07, 2009 at 09:00 PM
That why Botox is just pure evil! LOL...
Posted by: Amanda | April 07, 2009 at 09:29 PM
Thank you - I'm now wearing the before picture because I laughed so hard that one of my kids woke up. *sigh*
How would they know when to run?? LMAO!!!
Posted by: Chris | April 08, 2009 at 01:32 AM
How funny! That's one good thing about having kids young--I don't yet need Botox. The bad thing, of course, is that having used my maximum frown so often at such a young age, I will probably be considering Botox much sooner than normal.
Unfortunately for my husband, Botox makes me squeamish, so he'll probably just end up with a very wrinkly wife.
playingwithchildren.blogspot.com
Posted by: Erin | April 08, 2009 at 10:05 PM
Um yeah, I just got the instruction sheet for the test my GI doc ordered, thinking a visit to Dr. Kevorkian would be preferable! Or injecting the botox into a vein. Botox is totally insane in my very humble opinion, why would anyone in their right mind pay to be injected with the most potent toxin known to man (unless they just got the instruction sheet for the test their GI doc ordered). Hope you aren't as violated as I will be, think it would be hard to be given that he is already talking about a second horrifically violating test, sigh.
Posted by: Karen | April 12, 2009 at 02:28 AM
You are freakin' hilarious. "But what about the children" made me squeak out a supressed laugh, and when you mentioned the beatings I busted it out full throttle.
Well done, you.
Posted by: samantha jo campen | April 19, 2009 at 05:03 PM
Lol, laughing again - thanks soo much!!
Posted by: ruth | April 23, 2009 at 03:48 AM
I'm totally with you on the Botox thing. You had me rolling with laughter. I might have even peed myself a little!
Best of luck on the digestive issues.
Posted by: 'cuz I'm the mommy, that's why | May 01, 2009 at 05:51 AM