Dear The Dad,
My husband and I have three kids (twins and a singleton) and, while we both agree that we don't want any more children, we are at a bit of an impasse. Up to this point, I've been in charge of birth control, meaning I've been on the pill. I've taken it since I was in college, and frankly, I'm done. I don't want to take it anymore. I'll spare you the details, but lately my body has not been reacting positively to it. So now I'm trying to talk my husband into a vasectomy. He has been, shall we say, resistant. Very resistant.
So, do you have any advice what to say to him? If you don't mind me asking, have you had a vasectomy? From reading your blog, I'm guessing you have.
Advice on what to say to him? Say nothing. Just leave him alone with the kids for a week, and when you come back, say "Oh, and I'm off the pill." That would do it for me. I mean, before my wife's 3-month maternity leave was
exhausted, I not only visited the hospital myself for a quick and easy
vasectomy, but I also sent my wife in to have her vagina surgically
relocated to the middle of her left thigh. Not that it matters because
I sleep at the neighbor's house, just in case.
It's a penis, fellas. It's not the Eighth Wonder of the World. Get it snipped. I guarantee that any mistreatment it suffers in
the hands of your trained urologist is nothing compared to the abuse you dished out at thirteen locked in your closet with a stack of Playboys and a tube sock. It's a simple procedure. Get it done.
Seriously, I have half a mind to detail for you the unending medical delights that your wives have had to put up with in, on, and around their hoo hoos just to show you what a pussy scrotum you are being. Go get it snipped.
Hope this helps,
The Dad
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