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January 10, 2007

Comments

first timer, jumping right into the Limericks contest.
Here's my first two, probably more to come:

Speaking of sleep deprivation
Who could have ever believe
That all I would want to achieve
Is one measly night
Of sleeping real tight
Goodness, was I ever naive.


There are so many great words that rhyme with breast...
My li'l one is truly obsessed
Hear me, I'm here to attest
He will get me undressed
If refused, he'll protest
He is seriously hooked on my breast.

Limericking at 4:52 AM, Shiri? That's the kind of dedication we like to see around here. You'll fit right in.

Shopping with Twins

I shouldn't be making a stink
But I wonder if you even think
Your question's so coy
"A girl and a boy?"
What boys do you know who wear pink?


It's enough to drive me to drink

They went to bed 2 hours late,
Neither one finished their plate.
And the house is a mess,
But I’ve got to confess,
That being a grandma is great!

Okay, I sent this one in when you first announced there would be a contest, but I think I can still enter it now, right?


There once was a baby named Ella
She really stole the heart of this fella!
She sure liked to poop,
it threw us for a loop,
but we still think that she is a bella!

Words of Hope for the Blurry Years

Yes, parents of tots vent your spleens
On Looky, Daddy! re: diapersful of beans.
You feel you can’t cope,
At the end of your rope?
Add hormones. Voila! You have teens!

-- Mine are 13 & 14. Gratuitous (and no doubt unhelpful) advice available upon request. Therapy gratefully accepted in return.

Oh, LD you have no idea what you have started in our house. I feel the need to apologize in advance for this one. I couldn't resist.

This Would Be Funnier If We Actually Lived In Nantucket

There once were two babes from Nantucket.
They love the paci, Mom plucked it.
Right after the New Year,
She said, "No more paci's here".
Oh, how they wish they could suck it.

Note of clarification: Paci (passy) is what we call a pacifier in our house.

That's Passy - with an A

a vivacious young couple were we
went at it like bunnies you see
now with two who has time
I swear it's a crime
what got us here is a distant memory!

Here's my contribution -

We got us twin boys named Luther
We'd paid for one but got two-fer
We're too old for this
Our sleep we sure miss
Maybe we should be more youth-er

Have you ANY idea what you have started??
This is just way tooooo much fun!

The Name Game!

I've decided I'm changing my name
the kids don't really like this game
I don't come to "MOM!"
sometimes it's Bob, Ralph or Tom-
the trick is it's never the same!

It's ART!

a stay at home mommy of two
a young artist so fresh and so new
now thinks its an art
making armpit farts
with her son who screams "YUK" and "EWW"!

Okay, I'm really not getting anything done at work

When we'd take the babies to play
Strangers would shoot questions our way
Are they twins, they'd ask
Answering-hubby's task
No, they were just born on same day!

Vasectomy

There once was a man named Sean
Who really didn't want any more spawn
After his wife had twins
He said, "That's it! The knife wins!"
Now his little swimmers are all gone.

stay at home parents hear my vent
I can clean and it won't make a dent
there are two to this one
a daughter and a son
a nanny would be heaven sent!

A story through limerick by KatieG


How The Night Began

I only leave the house now & then.
I got home at fifteen after ten.
Baby's awake,
Husband: "I need a break".
All I wanted was dinner with friends.


How The Night Ended

Oh, evil croup, how you mock me.
You make my daughter all coughy.
It's two in the morning,
The husband is snoring,
While I sit here & "rocky-rocky".


Again? You've Got To Be Kidding.

Mr. Croup, are you trying to spite us?
You, sir, are One Nasty Virus.
You've invaded my child,
I hope this is mild.
We had enough when you visited at Christmas.


For The Boy

I know that you like to play dirty,
When Mommy is tired and hurting.
Up with your sister all night,
Don't want to pick a fight,
But why did you wake up at five-thirty?


For The Husband

Your compassion for me: teeny-weeny.
I yelled & then called you a "meany".
You could have stayed home today
-left me alone anyway.
Don't complain when the kids say "martini".

I DO IT!

"I DO IT" she does profess,
and I know she does try her best-
as she pulls off her dipey
and grabs for a wipey
smearing poop from her toes to her chest!

Bare Stomach Twin-Pregnancy Video

To keep parties from hitting a rut,
Hubby shows some home movies (half-cut)
Most oft’ shown is me
Just before surgery
And the group all shouts “Jabba the Hutt!”

OKAY! this is SO my last entry for the day......you have turned me into a limerick monster, bless your sweet heart!!

Texas Love
(say it with a southern drawl!)

He's fortysix to my thirty-faw
the one that he so adawed
now with two spud's
the love life's a dud
doesn't help that he calls me maw!

Help, I can't stop -

My son says sleeping is boring
I hear that my husband is snoring
So my son and me
Are up at three
And the internet we are exploring!

Adventures in Babysitting

We were sitting our nephew named Beck
Who was playing with toys on the deck
When he scrunched up his face
And sat rigid in place
And SPLURT! he pooped up to his neck

You had to say it...

There aren't many internet places
That cover all parenting bases
For poop, boogers, and pee
It's Looky, Daddy!
Oh, one more thing: homeostasis!

Mysterious Odor Emanating From The Sofa Region of the Living Room

The Dad smells it. "What IS that?"
"Perhaps something I should take a look at."
A meatball, 'twas the smell,
And all ended well.
For now we know that it wasn't the cat.

The Uncle

At Gift-giving I am a master
Though my sister opines, "You're a bastard"
My niece squeals with glee
Noisy toys? She got three!
Through the phone I can hear the disaster.

Heh heh. Delisciously eeeeevil.

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