It's 8:30 PM. One half hour past Kathryn's bed time. But she is not in bed. She's sitting on the couch with her mother, eating ice cream. Why? Because she is awesome. That's why.
She's awesome because today she said, "Daddy, when I get older and change my name..." She said it just like that, like it was something that everyone did when they got older, a rite of passage. "I'm going to be Gloria." She announced her new name with an amazing flourish of arms and even a little bow. "Gloria," she repeated, making it almost an eight-syllable word.
But wait, she's even awesomer than that.
When she got home from first grade today, she ran to each bed of the house and turned our pillowcases inside out. Then she went and put a single spoon under each pillow. "Dad," she told me, "you might feel a little lumpiness in your pillow tonight, but don't worry. It's to make it snow tomorrow. Also, you have to wear your pajamas backward tonight. Don't forget to tell Mom."
Can she get more awesome? Oh yes. Because tonight, with all three of my ladies in the bathtub, Lila let loose a poop for the history books. And Kathryn stood there, in the tub, wet and freezing, holding her little sisters, while we drained the tub. Did she cry? Nope. Did she complain? Nope. Did she yell, "Poopy party! Poopy party!" and then use her feet to kick some of the bigger chunks toward the drain. Yes. Yes, she did.
I told you she was awesome.
Update: After writing this, I was overcome with the need to run downstairs and ask Kathryn a question. Here's how it went:
"So, when you get older, you're going to change your name, right?"
"Yes. To Gloria." Another grand flourish, this time with an ice cream spoon in one hand, melted vanilla dripping onto the couch.
"Do you think all grown-ups change their name?"
"Well, not all."
"Did I change my name?"
"Maybe."
"What do you think my name was when I was little?"
Kathryn thought about this. She thought about it for the next five spoonfuls of ice cream. Then she looked at me.
"Luther?"
Does this mean I should change my name to Gloria too? I'm kinda attached to the name Kathryn now..
Posted by: Kate | January 18, 2007 at 08:24 AM
Luther? How did she know?
Because that's a PERFECT name for a boy who will one day dream of Total World Domination.
hmm.
Posted by: Liesel Elliott | January 18, 2007 at 08:28 AM
Awesome, indeed.
Posted by: Amelia | January 18, 2007 at 08:33 AM
LOVE it! You're right -- she IS awesome.
Hearing cute stories like this makes me just a tad less sad about the thought of my babies becoming little girls. Must be great to have an actual conversation with your children. :)
Posted by: JulieB | January 18, 2007 at 08:46 AM
She is indeed awesome - makes me almost wish the preschool years away.
Posted by: Katherine | January 18, 2007 at 08:46 AM
Kathryn is the awesome-est!
I'm proud to say that I'm her godfather!
Posted by: The Godfather | January 18, 2007 at 08:54 AM
Oh, my goodness! I have a tub pooper, too! Not baby poops, oh no, it was what my husband calls "man style." And what did my older boy (he's 5 now, 4 then) do? (They take tubs together, too.) He thought it was HYSTERICAL. He started talking about the size and color and whatnot. Maybe we can get him and Kathryn/Gloria together. (Does she know about the song? That's all I can think of now....)
Posted by: amy | January 18, 2007 at 09:33 AM
Don't you just LOVE kids' imagination? This is a great story. It's a good one to sock away...pull out at her wedding or graduation.
Posted by: Merry Jennifer | January 18, 2007 at 10:28 AM
She's wonderful. You'll have to start singing to her now, "Gloria! Gloria! mumble, mumble, Gloria! Gloria!"
And Amy? There's a pooping in the tub song? I never knew...
Posted by: Woman with Kids | January 18, 2007 at 10:28 AM
NO! There's the Gloria song!
We make up lots of songs around my house, but I wasn't quite in the mood to make up a pooping in the tub song at the time...
Posted by: amy | January 18, 2007 at 10:35 AM
You're right. She is totally awesome!
Posted by: Megan | January 18, 2007 at 11:08 AM
Reminds me of an old camp song.....
Stan, Stan, the Lavatory Man
Chief inspector of the outhouse clan
He issues the tissues, and paper towels;
And listens to the rhythms of the various bowels
Deep, down, under the ground
Where all the little poopies go swimming around
Stan, Stan, Lavatory Man
Scoopin' up the poopies in a little tin can.
Posted by: Erin | January 18, 2007 at 11:11 AM
At least she didn't want to change her name to Princess Consuela Bananahammock (remember that episode of Friends?), which would have made you King Luther Bananahammock.
Posted by: KatieG | January 18, 2007 at 11:16 AM
LOL! That is certainly one great kid.
Posted by: maggie | January 18, 2007 at 11:38 AM
So... was your name Luther or what?
Posted by: Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah | January 18, 2007 at 11:42 AM
It is a well documented fact that The Dad's folks gave him away to the Romany from 3 months to age 2. So it could be that his name was Luther during that time.
Posted by: The Mom | January 18, 2007 at 12:05 PM
My god, Luther, she IS awesome.
Posted by: alice | January 18, 2007 at 12:50 PM
My younger son, who has a perfectly lovely name, once declared that he wanted to change his name to 'Don.'
Why? I asked.
Why? Because we have a friend named Don who plays drums, and he thought that was really cool. Reason enough, I suppose.
In poop news, my friend Elizabeth has a son, Will, who at at time when his younger sister (barely toilet trained) was always ripping her clothes off and running about naked, once caught a poop IN HIS HAND rather than let it fall onto the carpet.
That's awesome too.
Posted by: Peggasus | January 18, 2007 at 01:19 PM
My son is just learning to wipe his own hiney, but he still insists on coming to me after a poop, and usually in the middle of dinner, to look at his butt to make sure it's clean. Blech! When does it end.
Posted by: Erika | January 18, 2007 at 01:30 PM
Luther,
Seriously, that is some funny sh*t (pun intended). Avoid the rush and just start calling her Gloria now.
G-L-O-R-I-A, Gloria! (The Doors version, of course)
Posted by: How About Two? | January 18, 2007 at 02:33 PM
A lot of time I read blogs about the writers' kids and I think: total birth control.
But you? You make it sound so fun, and you make me want a baby.
Damn you.
Posted by: Abby | January 18, 2007 at 02:40 PM
Oh the memories-two children in the tub...one with a little something extra to offer whilst the other screams in both horror and delight. Just wait. That was quickly replaced with my 15 year old saying "give it up, Kate...you don't have boobs" and the reply from my bonnie Kate, "bite me."
How I long for poop-filled days. Ok, not really.
Oh, and the "Gloria" I think of was by Laura Brannigan. Does that date me?
-Tracy
www.tsm.serveblog.net
Posted by: TSM-terrifically superiorily mediocre | January 19, 2007 at 12:26 AM
The very best modification we made to our bathroom was a handheld showerhead, available at your local Lowe's for about fifteen bucks. They're awfully handy for coaxing unmentionables towards the drain.
Posted by: throwingutah | January 20, 2007 at 11:59 AM
I can't imagine where she gets her sense of humor! She is awesome!
Posted by: chasing_two | January 21, 2007 at 02:45 PM
Luther-
I was just wondering if Gloria might be interested in a slightly younger but seemingly almost as awesome young Texas boy! At age 6 he is convinced he will own an Indian motorcyle and travel to collect currency from different countries. After taking a shower this weekend, he walked into the bathroom and said, "WOW! You do look better......but hmmm-the split ends gotta go!" Maybe he can get me a professional haircut with all that currency he's going to collect on his travels! Might Gloria be interested in a pen pal?
Posted by: monster mama | January 22, 2007 at 12:12 PM