Have It Your Way

Dear Burger King®,

I am truly, truly sorry, but even in retrospect, I don't think I could have seen this one coming.  Yes, I did choose to dress my girls in sundresses, and yes I do realize that a pull-up and a sundress are no real protection from the kind of explosive diarrhea that erupted from Lila as she played in your restaurant's playscape this evening, but it was a beautiful day and the twins just look so cute in those dresses, and besides, I think you'll agree that, simply in terms of volume alone, even a head-to-toe snowsuit wouldn't have kept your employees from having to give that playscape a good disinfecting anyway. And yes, I'll admit that it might have taken me a few minutes to recognize that smell and go in to those playscape tubes and retrieve my child, and that if I had acted a bit faster, we might have made it out of your fine restaurant before the vomiting began, but even you have to admit that the smell of fry fat is fairly strong throughout your store, and while that is not a bad thing, it does not create an environment conducive to olfactory investigations. And yes, I'll admit that Lila had been cranky and a little run down all day, but really, isn't that what Burger Kings® are for? Parents of cranky children? Of course it is. So, Burger King®, please accept my deepest and most sincere apology and be reassured that we will not return to your establishment. Ever.

Or at least until that funky smell is gone. Because seriously, I don't know who is going to be able to eat there until that gets taken care of. Good lord.

Thank you,

The Dad

Comments

[Allyson]

Oh Good Lord! What a day! I feel bad laughing, but the way you told that story was priceless! I hope Lila feels better soon, and that whatever is bothering here doesn't infect the rest of the clan.

Take care!

[Loren]

Your kids like to fingerpaint, too? I have the most horrifying picture of the "paint by numbers" that Emma did in her crib two weeks ago. I'll have to send it your way so we can compare notes on which child is more creative, or who has more flair for the use of texture.

[Slim]

How does one get a kid like that home? Are you going to have to burn the stroller? Send the car over a cliff?

[The Dad]

Slim: Suffice it to say that carpooling will be no one's favorite activity for a while.

[The Mom]

Based on last night's escapades, I have a new favorite name for a band that doesn't yet exist: Hurl House. Or perhaps House of Hurl would be even better?

Maybe that should be your next competition: Come up with the next, great band name.
American Idol watch out!

[The Godfather]

I can't wait to hear what Camilo has to say about the smell, and will Jesus be involved?

[Jonathan's Mum]

Oh my. You poor dears! Well, at least it is a nice breezy day today, so you can open up the windows of the Barf Mobile and air it out. Always gotta look on the brite side, eh?

[Tricia]

Oh, my.

[DebiD]

That's it! It's fate. Trent and Lila are MEANT TO BE. Do you believe in arranged marriages? Yes, he is a few months younger but I assure you, he'll do his darndest to take care of her.

[Jennifer]

I guess this means no 3-martini playdate this week. Ugh.

[BrooklynGirl]

That has to be one of my favorite posts you have written... right next to the "Dear Santa" letter!

Sorry about Lila being sick though. Bummer!

[Tammy from Twinstuff]

That is my worst nightmare. I hope she feels better soon and no one else gets it.

[Rachel]

That's the worst. My son went through a LONG stage were he fingerpainted his crib almost every night, and the smell of crap is one that I can now locate through a closed door from down the hall. Vomit is almost as bad. Keep the windows of the car rolled down, spray the seats with Lysol, and hope that the other twin does not begin spewing bodily fluids as well.

[Amy]

Tee hee! I just snarfed water out my nose reading that post. How many BK employees do you think will quit after working that shift??

[magpie]

Damn. I read too much foodie stuff. I saw the headline and the salutation, and thought "oh another blog entry about BK and their foray into well treated chickens". How wrong I was!!!

[Michell]

Ok, while not funny for you, pretty good laugh for the rest of us. Sorry Lila is sick, hope she feels better soon and no one else gets it. Boy sucks to be a burger king employee.

[Petunia]

Eeesh, never had an episode quite that bad, with the three of mine. You win!

[Jerri Ann]

Oh, I hate it when that happens and I am so embarrassed as if I could have prevented it or something.....

[Sharon with J and N]

Hey, I'm eating here! So much for visiting your blog on my lunch break

[Twin Mom]

Thank you so much for the laugh. We've got the stomach bug floating around our house. Now I can at least be thankful that it hasn't happened in public.

[Carol]

Honestly I understand the horror of sick kids but I laughed so darn hard reading this! Hope your little one is feeling better.

[Loren]

My mother had the gall to ask if I wanted to take the girls to McD's playplace for the first time. I told her, no thank you and referred her (once again) to this site. Thank you for saving me for the millionth time, The Dad!

[EOMama]

The Dad, this is just a friendly reminder that you haven't posted since March 29th.

[Judy]

Have no fear, that place stunk before your daughter entered it. I've yet to be in one that doesn't. I laughed so hard at this blog. Ellie's Mom has you on her link so I found you through her. She kept telling me how funny you were but, well what can I say. I'm the Mom, she's not suppose to tell me what to do.. anyway loved it...