I Shouldn't Have Married a Girl, Either

Camilo turned seven and called the marriage off. He broke it to Kathryn with all the tact and delicacy of his newfound age.

"I'm seven and you're still six. I'm not going to marry you anymore."

"Now I don't know who I'm going to marry," he added half a beat later.

"Camilo," Kathryn began, "Icannotgetmarrieduntilaftercollege." She said it like it was one word, just like we taught her. "And after college you won't be seven anymore. You might be, like, nine! And I might be twelve, or something. We can still get married."

Camilo, however, remained unconvinced and sadly shook his head while no doubt thumbing through the little blackbook of his mind for the names of suitable seven-year-old replacements for his now-forbidden child bride. The rest of the car ride to school passed in silence, and by silence I mean Ernie singing all two minutes and nineteen seconds of the rubber duckie song 47 million times because God hates me.

Later that night, Kathryn hit the rebound.

"I think it's good that Camilo won't marry me because when he talks really fast I don't understand him and a lot of times I don't think his jokes are funny and all he wants to do is play lightsabers and he never listens to me or does what I say" (Kathryn is six and saving her punctuation for later years) "but if I don't marry him I don't know who I'll marry because the only other person I want to marry is Erin and she's a girl."

Kathryn paused.

"Daddy, did you know in some places girls can marry each other?"

I nodded.

"But I don't think I'm going to marry a girl."

"Why not?" I asked, hoping the answer was blog-worthy.

"Because girls have babies, and if I marry a girl, then we will have too many babies."

This was followed by another, longer pause. Kathryn looked at me, her eyelashes as long as my forearm. We could hear the twins playing in the next room.

"I don't want too many babies."

Comments

[Proud to Live in Massachusetts]

Well, if she changes her mind about girls, she can just move a few states over...

[Crystal In Houston]

OMG! That is the most hilarious thing I have read lately! I can't even add anything witty or funny because Kathryn said it all!!!!! ROFL!

[barbex]

Such a smart kid. Very wise.

[Petunia]

These Kathryns, they never let you down!

[Anne Prince]

Too! Funny!!

[Kerri]

Hahahaha! Okay. Can I have copyright permission to post Kathryn's story on my boring blog? Actually, never mind. Nobody reads my blog anyway.

[The Dad]

How about a link, instead, Kerri.

[The Godfather]

Kathryn has shown yet again why she's my favorite Goddaughter!

The following quote, though, is the most interesting:
"He never listens to me or does what I say."

Okay, she learned things like this somewhere. What's your opinion, The Dad, are things like this just in female's DNA, or does The Mom have a hidden tape recording that plays all night that says "men should listen to you and do what you say..."???

[You can call me, 'Sir']

Saving both her virtue and her punctuation for after college....truly wise beyond her years. I think success will be hers as long she's not a liberal arts major.

[Amber]

promise you wont ever go out and get a real job, or if you do, you will always make time to blog.

and yes, I know taking care of the girls is a real job...i stay at home with my 3yr old boy, i get that. you know what I meant.

just promise.

[Bon]

Toddler Planet sent me on over, and i nearly peed.

what a wise little childbot Kathryn is. ;) thanks for the giggle.

[Tammy from Twinstuff]

That is just priceless! Thanks for the laugh!

[Susannah]

thanks, as always, for the laughs.

[Karly]

The title says it all!

[Tuesday]

I love a girl who knows what she wants!

[Renata]

I'm beginning to believe it's in the DNA. A couple of weeks ago, our son told me he had new girlfriend. I was stunned, thinking "New? girlfriend? Surely kindergarten is too young for this nonsense!?" But I stayed calm. I asked him why did he have a girlfriend at all? And he said, "Because Ava told me I'm her new boyfriend."

I guess, at any rate, that he's one who might listen. :)

[TSM]

Fantastic!

She was too good for him anyway. After making that kind of commitment and calling it off after only a birthday? Sheesh...smart girl for moving on quickly.

[Helen]

When my daughter Anna was in pre-k (4-years-old) the children began to talk about "getting married." Anna turned down any who asked, saying, "I'm not getting married - I'm going to be an artist." One day I was dropping her off and the father of one of the boys, Josh, asked if I was Anna's mom. Apparently she had broken his son's heart. I told him not to take it personally -- after all, she wasn't planning to get married at all. There were two beats, then Josh's Dad said, "Well, couldn't they just live together?" It still makes me laugh.

[Loren]

I wonder what Jesus would say about all that girl on girl action? I bet Camilo would know... you should make him an honorary contributor to your blog!

[Michell]

I love that kids will always just say exactly what they are thinking. Of course, I love this because I don't yet have any kids of my own, I'm sure some day it will bite me in the ass.

[oona lee]

That is sooo great! Girls are hilarious! I have twin boys and I am wondering what kind of 'dating' material they will come up with?!

Here's to the future!;)

[Shiri]

She's a genius. I want girls too. With my boys (well, with the one who can say more than mamapapapipi) it doesn't matter what you talk about, you will end up talking about the dinosaur with the brain on the top of his head.

[scatteredmom]

Oh, keep that one because if she DOES have twins one day that would be hilarious.

[cindy]

ok. it's something in our liberal homes. my almost 7 yr old & her best friend were at our home during a snow day recently. they came to me, hands on hips, adamant that they both were going to marry this one boy but they can't both do it, blah blah blah. My daughter's friend says, "marin & i can just marry each other than". I say "oh" (be neutral, mommy. you are a social worker.).
My daughter says, "You know girls can marry girls in other countries, mommy".
me: "oh. yes. true".
Daughter's friend: "Another country?!? i'm just gonna go to massachusetts & marry Marin & we'll come back to Indiana".
at least they know they'll be loved no matter what, or they wouldn't want to return to Indiana, for god's sake.

[Ellie's Mommie]

That's great!! My grandpa once asked my little cousin if she had any boyfriends. She told him she didn't. So then he asked her if she had any girlfriends (meaning girls who were friends). She responded with total shock! "No Grandpa! That would make me GAY!!"