Professional Blogger

Over the weekend, I stumbled across a reference to myself as a "professional blogger." I want to say that upon reading that designation, it gave me pause and I then took time out and reflected upon what it means both to blog and to blog professionally, and that this post is the culmination of my ruminations which will enrich and enlighten the Internet. But really, I just fell off my chair.

Which was the exact wrong thing to do. In my tiny little duplex of a house, we have only one real computer--we don't count Kathryn's, which is so old it crashes with any application more complicated than Hunt the Wumpus--and upon hearing the thump of my rump hitting the floor, my wife appeared like the wind to take my place. She's surprisingly light on her feet for her age.

She had told me before that she needed computer time this weekend, something about "work" and "deadline" and "not getting fired" and "out on the street" and "blah, blah, blah" and I knew the computer would be hers for hours unless I acted quickly. So to get back in the seat of power, I announced to her my newfound status as a "professional blogger." I even pointed to the site, still on the screen, which had proclaimed me so.

The Mom turned and regarded me.

"My, what a crappy-assed job you landed." Then she swiveled her chair back to the computer screen.

"Oh, and Victoria's got a poopy diaper," she called to me as I slunk out of the room, back downstairs to the girls. She needn't have bothered to say it, though. I could smell it halfway down the stairs.

Comments

[The Dad]

Reread that first paragraph. "culmination of my rumination". That's why I'm a professional. Pure friggin' poetry, that is.

[The Dad]

Not to mention "thump of my rump".

[Debbeeanne]

Congratulations on your new status! However, I always thought using the word "professional" in front of a job name meant you received monetary compensation for your efforts. Is someone paying you to get up at the crack of dawn to write all this stuff that totally entertains us? If not, you surely deserve it, because you, my friend, are definitely worth it. Keep it up!

[Amy]

At least you smell it! I'd get home and child(ren) would be in dirty diapers and hubby would say "What?!"...sigh

[Anne Prince]

I dunno...dem's fighting words: "upon hearing the thump of my rump hitting the floor, my wife appeared like the wind to take my place. She's surprisingly light on her feet for her age."

Mom? Any comments?

[SuperÏreo!]

Oh, to be a professional blogger with a blog that people beyond your nuclear family read.

Pure luxury!

And I wouldn't worry too much about your lack of computer firepower. Take solice from poor Luddite me, whose pooter died, rendering me blogless for three months.

[You can call me, 'Sir']

Crappy-assed job.

Poopy diaper.

The Mom whips out double entendres with withering accuracy.

[The Mom]

I'm too old to use these newfangled machines or I would comment.

[TSM]

These are the days I am thankful that the Mr. is such the addict that we MUST (must! I tell you!) have SEVEN, yes 7! computers in the house. If one breaks, I commandeer another.

And professional blogger? I would think a more accurate description would be "One of the great thought provoking writers of our age", No?

[How About Two?]

What's the obsession with profession? Or with the oratory of poetry?(yeah, it's a forced rhyme)

You have the skills that kill, a bad dad with the words we've heard.

Stay alive, Clive.

[LauraC]

By far, this is one of the most well-written blogs among the 15 million (yes 15 million! heard it on NPR) on the internet. While being a twin dad means there is always material available, you manage to capture it in a way that is extremely entertaining.

"Professional" is a well-deserved compliment! Although maybe I'm just delirious as my twins are under a year...