Body Integrity Identity Disorder

I blame myself for not seeing this coming. Lila is young. She's impressionable. She's exploring the world and her place in it. She's testing limits and observing reactions. She's constantly assessing and reassessing her little toddler world of rewards and consequences. And she is doing so with a coolness of intellect that would frighten even the most levelheaded.

So last week, as Lila was showered with sympathy when her front tooth was forcibly loosed from its moorings, as she was given a big pink balloon and as many prizes from the dentist's treasure chest as her chubby little hands could hold, she was obviously paying attention.

And she waited. She waited and kept her keen eyes open. She waited until the Saturday morning when her mom thought surely no harm would come from letting our two-year-old girls move bricks around our backyard in their barefeet, and then her mind clicked.

"If a tooth got me a balloon," she thought, "I bet a toe will get me a pony!"

And she let the brick drop.

Gentle Reader, there are about one thousand things you should be doing right now and I cannot urge you enough to go and do one of them in lieu of clicking on the link below. Go play catch with your kids. Write the first page of a new novel. Clean out your friggin' septic tank if it needs it, just don't click on the link. And this goes double for you, Mom.

Close, but no pony.

Comments

[Trishfreak]

Sweet Mary Martha! Oh that makes me want to cry. Sometimes those lessons just have to be learned the hard way huh?

Sending her lots of happy thoughts!! Mommy and Daddy get some too! along with some booze and painkillers for themselves.

[Shiri]

Holy s**t!

They just keep on coming, don't they?

[Beth]

Oh. Oh god. That's . . . just a nail, right? Quick, before I pass out, tell me - what is that other fleshy piece? Gulp.

[Not Erin]

Next you're going to tell us that it got reattached and will be okay, right?
Jody's 2-yr old granddaughter lost a fingertip and broke 3 fingers while doing a backflip from a lawnchair. The fingertip got reattached and she'll be fine. She got a cast, but no pony.
Hang in there The Dad, The Mom, and Lila!

[Doodaddy]

Wait, what? Is that really the whole toe? What's the update? What's happening? How could you possibly have taken a picture right then? (Well, OK, I probably would have, too.)

Yike. My dad apparently cut off the tip of my pinky with a cigar scissors when I was about 18 mos. It grew back, or so I'm told.

Thinking good thoughts... and possibly having bad dreams...

[Anne Prince]

Holy mother of god! Tell me they re-attached it! Tell me it's not as bad as it looks!

Tell me when DYFS is coming!

[virginia]

OMG! The kid really can't catch a break! I'd urge you to buy her the pony - cause it looks like she totally deserves one - but she'd probably end up with a broken shoulder or worse!

[Jon]

ok...ummm....I'm gonna go pay bills or something....I was never here.

- Jon
- Daddy Detective
- www.daddydetective.com

[The Mom]

#1: It was only Lila who was playing with a brick in her bare feet on my watch and she was behind a bush, so I couldn't actually see her.
#2 No bone or muscle was hurt in the making of this blog.

[The Dad]

The Mom speaks the truth. What you are seeing, and seriously, did you not read my warning not to click on it?, is a toenail badly in need of a pedicure and the big chunk of flesh that apparently kept the toenail on the toe. No permanent damage was sustained. Nothing needed reattaching, no bones were severed.

The sink cleaned up easily, too.

[Katherine]

Thank goodness! Scared me to death - wish I had heeded your warning.

[Swamper]

Is the brick okay?

[Jennifer]

Well, now I'm going to spend the day smashing my head against the wall in the hopes of getting that image out of my mind. And you had the nerve to run screaming from a photo of my child's Poopfest 2007?!?!

Good Lord, I hope your mother doesn't look at that photo.

[Kelly]

Well holy crap! (thanks for the warning, though).
So, does she get the whole pony, or just the hoof?

[Wendy]

Ugh. Why did I click on that? I can't even watch House without turning my head away at least 367 times.

I hope her toe is feeling better.

*still cringing*

[Katie]

(((shudder)))

[Katie]

I was so busy shuddering that I forgot to tell you I am amazed that you went out to find that hunk of flesh from behind the bush!

[Tammy from Twinstuff]

How in the world does a brick do that to a toe? Oh, poor Lila! Poor Mom! Poor Dad! I feel very badly for you guys! Will the nail grow back one day?

[Holly]

Oh. My. Goodness. Between the toe and a picture of a double-pointed knitting needle embedded into a heel on a friend's blog, it's a bad day for feet all the way around. Our boys will be wearing shoes. Always.

[WendyP]

Yeah, sorry Holly, but I warned you in an e-mail not to click on either photo!

I'm still cringing after looking at that photo last night. Poor little girl.

[Darren]

Ouch! Even after the update that hurts.

I'd get her the pony.

[Jess]

I'm going to go play recklessly with bricks in hopes of receiving a new Honda Odyssey minivan with a DVD player and a 4 carat diamond ring.

[Diane]

I feel her pain! I lost the nail on my left ring finger when I was a kid--a game of hide-and-seek gone bad (got my fingers stuck in the door jamb). The good news: Nails grow back, and everything looks normal within a few weeks/months. Even better, Lila gets her own gross-out story to top all the little boys once she's in school. She'll be the hit of the recess yard.

[Amber]

If you guys dont want your kids, I will take them. I am having a heck of a time trying to get #2...so perhaps this is my answer.

:)

Poor little girl.

[Greatexpectations]

I should have just written another page in the novel. Really, next time I think I'll listen to The Dad. Poor girl. Poor The Mom. Poor, poor Lila. Way to get all the bad over with in one, what, month or so?