Things are back to normal now around here, and if you are a regular reader, you know that there isn't much solace in that statement. Kathryn is doing well. Her new anti-seizure medication is making her tired, especially in the afternoons, which is making me wonder why I haven't been medicating her since birth. Thursday when she came home, she said she'd like to lie down for a bit and I was momentarily speechless. Of course, Kathryn didn't lie down, not even close, but just hearing her say the words gave me a little thrill.
My wife and I are also doing fine. We have both held it together amazingly well over the past seven days, our feelings and fears buried deep below countless layers of stress, coffee, and adrenaline, and buried deep they would have likely remained except late Friday night Kathryn woke up just after midnight to go to the bathroom. It was nothing special, just a need to pee, but after she shuffled back to her sleeping bag, yawning and disheveled, my wife and I lost it. We lost it, then lost it, then lost it some more. And then in the wee hours of the morning we finally slept, really slept, for the first time in a week.
When I was in high school, I had a teacher who would give "zero tests." He was a great teacher, he knew his stuff and expected a high level of achievement from us, and as long as we didn't overstep our bounds, he would run his class in a very relaxed and congenial manner, by which I mean he played The Rolling Stones while we worked. But if we slacked, if we tried his patience a little too much, then he would slap us with a zero test. A zero test was an impromptu five question test, written on the spot, and the highest grade you could make was a zero. Every missed question drove your score into negative numbers. When the test was over, he'd apply your score to whatever was the last grade in his gradebook. If you got all the questions correct, your grade in the gradebook stayed the same. Any missed questions and that grade went down, sometimes way down. And that's where I feel we are right now. This epilepsy is a zero test. Hopefully, if we keep up with everything, if we get the good breaks and a little luck, then we will finish the test at a zero. We will expend a great deal of energy, see many specialists, adjust many medications, and have a little freak out at every nighttime potty run, all to break even at zero. Nothing will be gained, but nothing will be lost. And before you tell me, I know how that sounds. I know that many people will want to say that there is something to be gained by this experience, that even in adversity there are life experiences to be made and strength to be built and whatnot. And to you I stick my tongue out and say pppbbbbrt!
Okay, I'm sorry, you don't deserve that. You truly deserve nothing but the best. This past week I have been humbled and awed by you and your response to our little excitement here, both collectively and individually. I know its cliche, but this here Internet is a wacky and oft-times unfriendly place, and yet I am blown away by how it can scramble together and support those in need. I am lucky to be a part of that. Thank you. But still, pppbbbbrt!
Kathryn's diagnosis remains Benign Rolandic Epilepsy, which is a great relief. In fact, everything from about three hours after the initial event has been a relief. Clean MRIs, no lasting damage, no nothing. Just a mild form of epilepsy which should disappear at puberty, so now I'm sitting here actually hoping that Kathryn goes through puberty early. God help me, I will so regret that. Perhaps I won't tell Kathryn that her condition ends when she matures. Maybe I'll say it worsens. And that she's more likely to have a seizure in a time of great excitement and/or nudity. You don't think that will scar her, do you? Okay, then, how about if I just tell that to the boyfriends? "Son, she'll likely have an episode if you kiss her. Don't be surprised if she throws up in your mouth a little, that's normal. Perfectly normal."
I know normal for you all is crazy for most of us, but I am glad you are back to it.
Continued prayers for you as you deal with a new normal.
Posted by: Amber | October 21, 2007 at 01:35 PM
Fantastic to hear that Kathryn is doing well and things are back to normal. Really fantastic to hear this should go away at puberty.
I can just imagine Kathryn's retaliation at you telling her dates she may throw up a little in their mouths if they kiss her or attempt to take her clothes off. I wouldn't try it. Kathryn it seems, takes after her parents. So think about that before you attempt to thwart a teenage boy. :)
So happy that you and The Mom are doing well also. Don't forget to take care of yourselves while you're taking the candy away from the twins. Maybe eat some of that candy yourselves?
Posted by: Laura | October 21, 2007 at 01:44 PM
Hysterical. I may tell Minion No.2 that while I think at 2 1/2 she has a talent for shaking her booty and a future ripe with pole dancing, she too might vomit just a little bit into a boys mouth when kissing.
Note to self.
Thanks.
Mom of Three
Posted by: Babycity | October 21, 2007 at 02:16 PM
How have you guys done talking to Kathryn about the situation? I can imagine, in the case of my own kid, that any ability she demonstrated to marginally assimilate thigns and move on would really strengthen me,
Posted by: rachel | October 21, 2007 at 02:55 PM
I say use it as an anti-dating advice; there isn't much we parents have in our arsenal.
So glad she is home. Hoping this was an isolated event,and that she does well on her meds.
(I take a anti-seizure med for neuropathy. It still makes me sleepy, but over time, I've grown accustom to it. I don't know if that is good news for you or not. =])
Posted by: Lisa Milton | October 21, 2007 at 02:58 PM
so glad to hear that things are getting back to normal. that's wonderful.
Posted by: Susannah | October 21, 2007 at 03:42 PM
Glad everything is okay. Good luck with the puberty thing, I'm sure you'll be equipped to handle it fine when it happens :)
Posted by: V | October 21, 2007 at 05:40 PM
I call these AFOG experiences: Another F'ing Opportunity for Growth. I like your ideas for handling the boyfriend...let's hope they work.
Posted by: JSR | October 21, 2007 at 05:59 PM
I agree with you, pppbbbbrt! to those people who say facing adversity builds character or strength...we all know that life is really crappy and it throws us lots of curves, but when it comes to our children's health and well-being...I say let me live in a house that is protected by rainbows and sunshine, I don't need adversity or ill children to help me become a better person. Definitely use the throw up line to prospective boyfriends...I see absolutely nothing wrong with that tactic. So glad you got a good night's sleep.
Posted by: Angela | October 21, 2007 at 06:03 PM
Rooting for you, and double-thumbs-down on the ol' "That which does not kill us makes us stronger" crapola. Goddamn Nietzsche.
Posted by: Nicole | October 21, 2007 at 09:06 PM
You have NO IDEA how fast I'd actually use that information in my favor, just as you suggest. Totally. I'd do it.
Posted by: Abby | October 21, 2007 at 10:37 PM
From everything that I've read, I know Kathryn is a very strong young lady. She's going to bounce back from this very quickly. It will probably be a while before you and The Mom bounce back from the trauma of the experience. I still cringe and well up with tears when I think of the ER experiences that my son put me through last year. I am so glad things are going much better. I will continue to pray for your family.
Posted by: Tammy from Twinstuff | October 21, 2007 at 11:06 PM
I would never wish a chronic condition on anyone because "it will be good experience." It may have aspects of goodness to it, but overall I'd trade emotional immaturity for no disease thankyouverymuch.
But. I do find myself saying, when I meet another diabetic "Awesome. Let us now perform the secret handshake and decode messages with our decoder rings."
Which I suppose is a way of saying, if you have to have a sucky chronic condition in your life, its suckiness will be mitigated by finding great fellowship and solidarity with others. And opportunities to make inappropriate T-shirts that read things like "real diabetics lick their fingers."
I also will be forever grateful to MY The Mom and The Dad for supporting me, and making sure that my rights were protected, my opportunities weren't curtailed, by judgement trusted and my confidence affirmed. That has made all the difference in the world.
25 years and counting, man. I'm glad to hear adolescance will clear Kathryn...
Posted by: Kate C. | October 21, 2007 at 11:18 PM
Wow, I SO needed to hear about the zero test today. Am having a craptacular time of my own on about 6 different fronts, and feel constantly like I am fighting just to keep above water--and somehow, against all logic, knowing there IS such a thing as a zero test made it all make sense and seem a little more transitory, a little less huge, slightly more manageable, as if I can just wait it all out knowing that there will be other assignments, and that if I manage to screw all this up horrifically, I should be able to make up the points somewhere else down the road. How comforting is that??
Kathryn's rockin' da house, dog. Fear not, she'll throw up in boys' mouths just to show them that she can--I have little doubt that she'll be the one in charge and know just where her power lies... You can always take my husband's lead and answer the door with a baseball bat. And have a friend in a ski mask peeking through the windows of the kid's car, making sure the kid knows said friend will follow him, closely, all evening long. We have great fun with our neighbors planning out these scenarios.
Posted by: Deborah | October 21, 2007 at 11:33 PM
Glad you two were able to let go and lose it. I hope that your potty break freakouts ease with time.
In case Boyfriend Repellent Plan A doesn't work out: I recently met a guy who kept track of his daughters' menstrual cycles on his calendar, and grounded them whenever they were ovulating.
Just a thought.
Posted by: sasha | October 22, 2007 at 12:24 AM
zero test--what a great metaphor (and hard-ass teaching strategy...nice!). Glad to hear this update...and a wicked chuckle at your plans :)
Posted by: R | October 22, 2007 at 02:31 AM
Sasha
Please tell me yhou made that up!
Kept track of their cycles and grounded his daughters when they were ovulating. That's just creepy.
Posted by: Laura | October 22, 2007 at 08:00 AM
I am glad she is home safe.
Posted by: Tuesday | October 22, 2007 at 08:24 AM
Laura~
I wish I could say that I made it up, but he was for real, and pretty proud of himself. He also claimed to keep half-pound bars of dark chocolate stashed around the house for PMS freakouts.
Posted by: sasha | October 22, 2007 at 11:15 AM
hee hee hee. Throw up in his mouth a little...hee hee. That really gave me a chuckle.
It works, though. I had a room mate in college who became sick after a party, all over her would be date rapist. He left her in disgust, she was covered in vomit but otherwise unharmed.
Posted by: Chickenpig | October 22, 2007 at 11:33 AM
I had a friend who told her older kids that combining marijuana with the medication they were on would surely kill them. Without question - one puff - dead. Stupid doctor ruined it and told them the truth. I love a perfectly used lie.
I am very glad your daughter is better and especially that it is something she will outgrow. Temporary adversity is the next best thing to no adversity.
Posted by: Em | October 22, 2007 at 12:54 PM
Laura, I am so with you. All the half pound bars of chocolate in the world would not stop me utterly, utterly resenting a person who felt it was okay to ground me b/c I was ovulating.
Maybe he could just, you know, invest in chastity belts. Or possibly towers. Or a portcullis.
Sheesh.
Posted by: Kate C. | October 22, 2007 at 01:00 PM
Adversity, schmersity! I'm with you on the pppbbbbrt! In all seriousness, I am so glad to hear that Kathryn is doing better and I hope you and The Mom will be able to breathe easier (as best as you can) with each coming night. Good luck! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your gang.
Posted by: Jennifer | October 22, 2007 at 01:48 PM
So someone just told me that Mercury is in retrograde. What does this mean you ask? Well I didn't know either so I looked it up. It means that the planets are not aligned. Here's a couple of links
http://www.writerinthewindow.com/mercury_retrograde.htm
http://www.astrologyweekly.com/astrology-articles/mercury-retrograde.php
This occurs from October 12 - Nov. 1st for this year. Bad things are said to happen when Mercury is in retrograde.
So this is my reason for everything these days.
Why did this happen to Kathryn? Because on Oct. 13th Mercury was in retrograde.
Posted by: Laura | October 22, 2007 at 03:21 PM
zero test is an interesting concept. a little mean, i think, but interesting.
using the condition as an anti-dating coercion? hilarious.
some people don't understand black humor like that...but it's one of the things that helped us cope. it (black humor) runs in my family, and they're all sick as can be.
Posted by: megachick | October 22, 2007 at 03:26 PM