Dear Kathryn,
On your first trip to the pediatrician, you crapped on me. I had just set you down, naked, on the examination table, and you lifted your legs and squirted a fine line of brown up my shirt, from my navel to just below my chin. I didn't have another shirt to change into, and so, for lack of anything else to do, I greeted everyone I met for the rest of that office visit with a thumbs up and the biggest smile they'd ever seen. I looked like the smiley-faced dot a young, dreamy girl might place over the "i" you'd just drawn on me with your butt.
And then we switched pediatricians by cell phone on the car ride home.
Today you turn eight, and right now I feel like you are the biggest smile I've ever seen dotting the line of crap that seven pooped on you. May this year treat you better.
I love you,
Dad
Happy Birthday to Kathryn! Congratulations to you on making it through that crap of a year.
Posted by: Rachael | July 28, 2008 at 03:10 AM
Happy birthday Kathryn! You are a beautiful, young lady.
Posted by: Tammy from Little Rock | July 28, 2008 at 07:41 AM
Happy, HAPPY Birthday to Kathryn!!! Here's hoping that 8 is way better than 7 in every way possible.
Posted by: Anne Prince | July 28, 2008 at 07:50 AM
Happy Birthday Kathryn! Yes, let's hope this is a MUCH better year!
Posted by: Mauigirl | July 28, 2008 at 08:06 AM
Happy # 8 Kathryn!!! Here's to 8 being so much more fun than 7!!!
Posted by: Laura | July 28, 2008 at 08:06 AM
Brian - those are the most beautiful girls! For all your trials, you are a very lucky man. Happy Day Kathryn!
Posted by: Katherine | July 28, 2008 at 08:58 AM
Dear Kathryn,
Happy birthday! You've had a 'crappy' year, but don't worry, it'll just get better!
And just remember, one day, you'll be able to show people this blog, and say, "see, my dad is really crazy! I'm not making it up!"
Love, The Godfather
Posted by: The Godfather | July 28, 2008 at 09:06 AM
Only you could put something so disgusting to such good use-- well said.
Happy Birthday, Kathryn-- make 8 be the anti-7!
Posted by: LiteralDan | July 28, 2008 at 09:17 AM
I always thought that girls were all 'Sugar and spice and everything nice'. Now, however, not only have you disillusioned me regarding the spicy nature of girls, you've also scared me away from future procreation, in general, lest I be squirted with watery poop from my child's butt.
Happy birthday, Kathryn! Stop crushing my illusions, Brian!
Posted by: You can call me, 'Sir' | July 28, 2008 at 10:07 AM
Long time blog reader, first time poster (honk honk!).
I just had to point out that it is also my birthday today as well, can't think of a better person to share the day with.
Posted by: Corey | July 28, 2008 at 10:13 AM
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday, dear Kathryn
Happy Birthday to you -
Here's to a great year ~
Posted by: Jamie | July 28, 2008 at 10:19 AM
Wishing Kathryn a happy, happy birthday!
Posted by: Meredith | July 28, 2008 at 10:42 AM
Happy Birthday Kathryn.
Posted by: Catizhere | July 28, 2008 at 11:00 AM
Happy Birthday Kathryn!!! Happy 8!
Posted by: lilfootsmommy | July 28, 2008 at 11:09 AM
Have a fabulous 8th Kathryn!
Posted by: Jennifer | July 28, 2008 at 11:22 AM
Haaaappy Birthday, Kathryn! The internet sends you much love!
(and The Dad: thanks for the hilarious mental image.)
Posted by: R | July 28, 2008 at 11:24 AM
Happy Birthday Kathryn! Wow, July is quite the month in your house (betwen you and your dad).
Posted by: Clover | July 28, 2008 at 11:39 AM
My father was a photographer and did a photo shoot of me when I was a baby. He ultimately put 3 different exposures of me on one photo... When people see that picture they think I'm one of triplets. When I look at this picture of your 3 girls together I can't help but think the same thing. All 3 of them look so much alike, they could be confused as triplets or a triple exposure print.
Happy Birthday Kathryn and keep dotting that 'i' with a happy face.
:-)
Posted by: Margie Blystone | July 28, 2008 at 12:09 PM
Happy birthday, Kathryn, you cutie pie!!!
Posted by: b | July 28, 2008 at 12:58 PM
Happy Birthday pretty girl! And also congratulations to your mommy! Things will get better, there's too much love being sent your way for therm not to :)
Posted by: Florencia | July 28, 2008 at 01:18 PM
Happy Birthday Kathryn!
Posted by: Colleen | July 28, 2008 at 01:22 PM
I never thought I would enjoy such an analogy of poop as you have just presented, but I did. Or was that a metaphor? Crap. I always get those two mixed up.
Well, anyhow...very funny post and I hope Kathryn has a much better 8th year.
I think of her often, to tell you the truth, and hope you can all soldier through this very tough time. I'm sure you wish you could seek shelter in a ditch somewhere. Hang in there.
Posted by: Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings | July 28, 2008 at 02:03 PM
Uh...I am sure you know this but the twins have a certain look about them. Like they are going to kick the collective ass of the world and we are going to have to like it. I am a bit scared.
Posted by: Sam | July 28, 2008 at 02:39 PM
Happy birthday Kathryn!
Posted by: Julia | July 28, 2008 at 05:35 PM
Happy Birthday, Kathryn!!! Someday you'll love that your dad wrote all of this for us to read, but that won't come until sometime after your teenage years. WELL after.
Posted by: loren | July 28, 2008 at 06:24 PM