Missed Connections

You: ShopRite shopper in a black "Mama for Obama" t-shirt. Me: Wrestling a box of Lucky Charms out of my three-year-old's hands. You brought back her twin sister from two aisles over and asked if she belonged to me. I said yes and you smiled. Did we have a connection? I'll be shopping there again tomorrow.

You: One of countless women. Me: Pushing a double stroller. You remarked you always wanted twins. Call me and we'll discuss terms.

You: Hospital intake clerk wearing a blue top and slacks. Me: Dad with the three girls, the oldest with a broken arm. You said, "Haven't I seen you before?" I didn't know if you were trying to pick me up or simply remarking that it was our third visit this summer. Reply to negligentdad352 if the former.

You: Child Protective Services caseworker in a grey pantsuit. Me: Man who answered the door. We talked for some time about me and my kids. You asked if their mom was around much. I said no and winked. You wrote something on your clipboard. I hope I earned a return visit!

Comments

[TSM]

Seriously? Because I can see the headlines. "Famous Daddy Blogger To Be Away From Laptop For A Decade"....the story would read:

Fans nationwide are reeling over the news that their beloved Daddy blogger could be facing ten long years in the slammer. Witnesses say a woman in an Obama tshirt, an Emergency room clerk and a child protective worker were beating him mercilessly on his doorstep when neighbors intervened. He was said to be shouting, "Why am *I* being arrested??" as they cuffed him and took him away. Other witnesses claimed he was smiling and waving to the Mom, mouthing the word, "SUCKER".

[Writer Dad]

great punch line.

[Rebecca F.]

Although you've dealt with it with great humour, the CPS really came, didn't they??

Wow. Insult to injury for sure.

Rebecca F.

[Papa Bradstein]

Did you tell the grey pantsuit to read the blog if she wanted to know what you're really like as a Dad? If she did, you'll never see her again.

[Astrogirl426]

Ah, that sounds like a day in my life. If you thought those were bad, let me add one of my own:

You: Cigarette-smoking, wonky-eyed carny manning the ferris wheel last night at the fair. Me: Harried mom of rambunctious 4-year old who was climbing the gate to get on the ride. You said, "Cool tattoo, who did it?" but I know what you were really saying was, "Meet me out behind the fried dough stand and I'll make you feel like a woman." If that offer still stands, email me at [email protected]

[Anne Prince]

Why am I not surprised? You knew it had to be coming didn't you?

[shakes head sadly]

TSM - I like your take on it.

Seriously though - bummer day huh?

[honey (that's my real name) :(]

hey you, The Dad!

i just resurfaced from my four-day-reading-of-all-looky,daddy!-archives.. yep, all of 'em. and NON.STOP at that! whew. i never knew i had THAT much amount of patience in me. anyway, it has been a great read! im fairly certain i will now pass any "twin-kathryn-and-The-Mom-test" you might want to spring upon me. and all these knowledge at the expense of my now-up-to-the-ceiling-workloads. (hey, what's with all these hyphen thing...?)

i've been neglectful, that's for sure...

[honey]

and oh! i forgot to tell you... of all the many blogs i've read this past weeks (i took up a new hobby - stalking blogs!), yours top my list! well, yours and alice's. it was by her post that i found your link.

[Laura]

Um, The Dad? Did CPS really come to the door????? Please e mail and tell me it was just for comedic effect. I won't ruin it fot the rest of the readers. I promise!

[farmer*swife]

Ahhhhh, thanks for that! A morning laugh!

[loren]

That is funny... I always wonder when CPS will be called to my house. When they show up, I'll say "Well, you caught me! Bye kids, mommy's going on vacation, uh, jail."

[new reader via finslippy]

I think I love you

[Adria]

I love the second. I know they were well intended but when mine were 3 months old, those comments nearly made my skin crawl. There's a whole lot more to twins than cuteness.

[becky from sc]

I don't know whether to laugh or worry. I hate to ask, but did the last one really happen?

[Brian]

Okaaaay, I think it might be time to rethink this whole blog thing. Really.

NO CPS WORKER CAME TO MY HOUSE.

This blog provides a very, very skewed place from which to view my life and the lives of my daughters. That is intentional. That is not to say the posts in this blog are not true (except the obviously fatuous ones like today's) but that they tend to magnify to horrors and traumas of our lives while leaving unreported the warm and fuzzy bits. I just don't write warm and fuzzy very well.

Which is all fine and good until I realize that more than a few complete strangers are genuinely concerned that CPS came to my house. So I repeat: No CPS worker came to my house.

She was really from DYFS.

[alice]

Oh, Brian. No one from DYFS came to your house.

Yet. Now where did I put my phone...

[Sadia]

Thanks for the update. I was about to have a heart attack on your behalf, and would have been very grumpy on discovering it was caused by hyberbole.

[loren]

Don't rethink anything, Brian! Thinking gets you into trouble, so REthinking is twice as bad.

Remember: blogging - yes, thinking - no.

[Alexis]

Dear The Dad,
I have been a longtime reader and I feel like you are the male version of me because we lead similar lives. I don't have twins, but I did have 3 under 3.5 years-the oldest is now 6. I can relate to the majority of your stories including the CPS worker, except CPS really did come to my door. Apparently someone called and said I was beating my children in the car and I told her that doing the backwards arm reach to break up a fight while driving and trying to keep Houdini in his carseat does not constitute beating. The CPS worker understood after meeting them.
You: the neighbor who told me that my family was too loud-she will call the police and then had the nerve to tell me she understands stress-she has A 9 yo girl, Me: the hated neighbor because I laughed in her face about the stress comment and then said a few choice words.
It's been a long day, I think it's time for a drink...

[Bennie]

She was really from DYFS.

Double punch line. Dude, you are just too funny.

[Lora]

At one time, I wouldn't have been overly surprised if CPS had shown up at my door. I only have one child but there was a 7-8 week period when he was 3 that saw us in the ER twice and at the doctor's for another "emergency" visit. All fairly "normal" little kid stuff, just, sadly, all grouped together at once.

[The Mom]

People! Where are your values?!? Why are people worried that CPS came to my house, but seemingly unconcerned that my husband is picking up other women? Tsk, tsk, tsk.

[Anne Prince]

Don't fret The Mom. We are not worried cause we know he doesn't have the time or energy to engage in any of those women.

He is just like Jimmy Carter with the lust in his heart.

Oh god I am dating myself!

[annie]

Well, I thought you were serious. Because you know, the ONE time I took my then 3yo to the ER she had a dislocated elbow and they sure gave me the ol' stink eye over THAT. Of course that could have been because her father was there with me AND his girlfriend. The father and I were divorced. God, I'm so glad that period of my life is OVER. The Girl turns 18 next year.

[JO]

The Dad -

WHAT?!? You mean that every word written on this blog is not true? You aren't revealing every intimate detail of your life and your children and spouse to the world?

I'm completely disillusioned...

JO :)