Dear Lila and Victoria,
It was on a subway platform in Midtown that you two were given the promise of life, the instant we decided neither of you had much of a chance of one. Or at least I had decided you didn't stand much of a chance. I'm not positive your mom agreed with me; she was too sick to contribute much of anything to the discussion.
"We would be fools to make a decision based on them," I said.
"Bleurgh," your mom said.
Them was you. Were you. Were Lila and Victoria. You didn't have names yet. Hell, you barely even had heartbeats.
If you still had heartbeats.
We had flown from Austin to New York City because your mom had a job interview here. It was our first trip to the city and it was not going well.
"Remember," I said. "The funny thing thing about regret is, it's better to regret something you have done than to regret something you haven't done."
"Bleurgh," your mom said, which may have meant, "That's true," or may have meant, "I don't think we should make life decisions based on Butthole Surfer lyrics." Most likely it meant, "Take me back to the hotel. Sightseeing is over," even though the only sights we had seen so far were a subway platform in Midtown.
The decision facing us was whether or not we should uproot our family and move to New York. On the surface, it was a ludicrious idea. We had neither friends nor family in the New York City area and your mom was nine-weeks pregnant with twins. Did I say on the surface it was ludicrious? Because I meant to say it was ludicrious deep down, too.
But.
Your sister Kathryn was four years old. In the time between her birth and our subway platform discussion, three separate heartbeats had each held court in your mother's uterus, three heartbeats that had lasted for months, then disappeared. Nobody knew why. You two were heartbeats four and five. We had no reason to believe you'd last much longer either. The only evidence we had that you were still existing even then was the fact that your mom couldn't go an hour without either a nap or a bucket. Most hours she needed both.
So there, right there on the platform, surrounded by the unfamiliar smell of a New York spring seeping down from above, we agreed to take the job if it were offered, because the only reason to turn it down was you two, and you two didn't appear to have much of a chance.
And thus, just to prove us wrong, your heartbeats strengthened. Stubbornly, resourcefully, for thirty more weeks they grew stronger, as if nothing could please you two more than making us look like idiots.
Happy fourth birthday, Lila and Victoria. May your hearts continue to prove us fools for many more years to come.
Love, Dad
The happiest of very happy birthdays.
Lila and Victoria, you have learnt from the very beginning that it is the right, nay, the obligation of children to make monkeys of their parents. This is the only way that parents will grow, develop and come to understand the deep joy of Webkinz. You have the power. Use it wisely.
Happy New Year to you all.
Posted by: Mort's Mom | January 01, 2009 at 06:54 AM
now i'm crying.
happy birthday, lila.
happy birthday, victoria.
Posted by: rosie | January 01, 2009 at 08:52 AM
beautiful...happy birthday Lila and Victoria
Posted by: andi | January 01, 2009 at 09:45 AM
Great. The first blog post I read in 2009 makes me cry.
Very Sweet.
Posted by: casey | January 01, 2009 at 09:54 AM
Sure....let's start the New Year off with tears in our eyes why don't we?
Wishing everyone in the Looky Daddy household a wonderful 2009 and Happy Birthday to Lila and Victoria!
Posted by: Anne Prince | January 01, 2009 at 09:58 AM
Great, now I'm hung over AND crying! At least you're not here to make fun of me for having emotions. Jerk.
Happy birthday to my 2nd favorite twins in the whole wide world. xoxoxoxoxo.
Posted by: 3-Martini Jennifer | January 01, 2009 at 10:06 AM
Happy Birthday to one of my favorite set of twins!! And happy "I did all the work" Day to The Mom!
Posted by: Kate | January 01, 2009 at 11:19 AM
Beautifully said, sir. My best to all on this celebratory day.
Posted by: Petunia | January 01, 2009 at 11:38 AM
Happy Birthday, Lila and Victoria!
I had no idea the girls were so close in age to my girls (their 4th birthday is on the 11th). But because, like many other posts, this one is not about ME, Happy Birthday again to your babies and thank you for making vomit practically poetic. I think you've found your calling.
Posted by: loren | January 01, 2009 at 11:42 AM
Perfect New Year/Birthday post! BTW, hope you got my e-mail. You've been nominated for Best Blog in the Universe...or something along those lines.
Posted by: Bennie | January 01, 2009 at 12:43 PM
My nose is prickling. You are a poet, LD, and like the best poets, you aren't just clever with words but possess an old soul (aging at the rate of at least three years per year, I'm sure, thanks to your kids). Happy birthday to the blessedly stubborn Lila and Victoria, and Happy New Year to the whole family.
Posted by: Amy | January 01, 2009 at 12:48 PM
Another fabulous walk down memory lane.
Happy Birthday to the twins and Happy New Year to everyone!
Posted by: Tess | January 01, 2009 at 01:28 PM
What a great story ;)
Happy birthday Lila and Victoria! Being four is the best.
Posted by: scatteredmom | January 01, 2009 at 01:36 PM
Happy Birthday Lila & Victoria!
Posted by: Colleen | January 01, 2009 at 01:47 PM
waaah! happy birthday, lila and victoria!
Posted by: kommishonerjenny | January 01, 2009 at 02:43 PM
The best kind of children are the ones who start out perverse.
Happy birthday to the twins and the missus!
Posted by: Julie | January 01, 2009 at 03:12 PM
The best kind of children are the ones who start out perverse.
Happy birthday to the twins and the missus!
Posted by: Julie | January 01, 2009 at 03:13 PM
Gah. Every time I think that our lives are not exactly alike, minus one year, they get more exactly alike. One older girl, three miscarriages, surprise identical twin girls. My twins turn 3 in Feb.
And I also think I have a book in all this :).
ok, so I didn't move in the middle of all of it, and you probably didn't have all yours get celiac disease.
happy new year to y'all.
Posted by: lisa in seattle | January 01, 2009 at 05:29 PM
I'm here because you were nominated for that award, the Weblog award, and I'm SO glad I checked you out.
That was just beautiful.
Posted by: therapydoc | January 01, 2009 at 07:02 PM
What an awesome post! Happy new year.
Posted by: therapydoc | January 01, 2009 at 07:14 PM
I just had to say what a beautiful post that was so I'm commenting for the first time (even though I've read it for quite a while.) You are, by far, my favorite blogger of all times.
Posted by: Penelope C. | January 02, 2009 at 12:28 AM
Simply gorgeous! What a wonderful message for the girls to look back on some day. You are one awesome dad.
Posted by: Lucy | January 02, 2009 at 08:29 AM
Happy Birthday to Lila and Victoria!
And congrats The Dad and The Mom for surviving this long, and yet still having enough brainpower left to write things like this.
Posted by: Burgh Baby | January 02, 2009 at 09:01 AM
Happy Birthday to Lila and Victoria!
Happy I-Gave-Birth-Day to The Mom
Congratulations to the whole family on making it another year. Happy 2009!
Posted by: Laura | January 02, 2009 at 10:14 AM
Happy Birthday Lila & Victoria!
That story sounds so familiar...we weren't sure our girls were going to be born either. Made a few plans that didn't account for them being with us the following March. Oh well. Life marches on....and more joyfully.
Posted by: Kat | January 02, 2009 at 03:17 PM