Wedding Lemonade

Summer posts will be scarce. There's not much to be said about that. Last year I bravely promised a drink recipe a week just to keep you coming back, and I managed a whole five of those before summer drowned me in grass clippings and sunscreen. Let's see if I do better this time.

Wedding Lemonade.

I only tasted it once. It seared a memory into my 8-year-old brain even as it seared away the lining of my 8-year-old esophagus.  For years to come, it reduced me to a kind of lemonade paranoia, asking with what must have been maddening constancy whether the pitcher of lemonade I saw in the fridge was "regular" or "wedding." Because to pour a glass of one thinking it was the other? Well, you know that startling feeling you get when you think you're sipping water but it turns out to be Sprite? This was thinking you're sipping lemonade and it turning out to be a mugging.

Lemonade and tequila. That's all it was. The lemonade was probably Countrytime because this was the late-seventies and recreational powders were just coming into style, but the tequila was definitely Two Fingers. I remember that name because my dad used to joke that the label read "two fingers" but it drank like a fist. As for the proportions, figure out just how much tequila you need to add to lemonade to cause blindness and stop just short of that.

My parents invented the drink at my aunt's wedding, and from that it got its name, but it hardly required another wedding for them to mix a pitcher of it again. In fact, I'm not sure if my parents ever attended another wedding after my aunt's. Make of that what you will.

My best friend from high school got married last week. It was a beautiful ceremony: Elegant and refined. They did not serve wedding lemonade. Throughout the ceremony, the groom, my friend Steven, grinned so incessantly I worried that when the time came to recite his vows, his jaw would simply unhinge and fall to the floor.

I do not want to co-opt their day for my own political and social agenda, except to ask them to treasure their marriage. Celebrate it. Honor it. Revel in it. Have an affair with it. Get drunk on it. Call it two-fingered but drink it like a fist. Because maybe if those of us who can marry did a better job of being married, there would be fewer people around who felt like marriage was something that needed defending.

Comments

[Tehmina]

OMG! Steven got married. Congratulations Steven if you read this!

[Laura]

Well said.

[Mort's Mom]

Indeed.
I've tried marriage both ways. The first was the "get a big white frock and marry the first chap who came up with a ring". It lasted 11 years on paper and 1 day in my soul. No fault of his - just no connection in any way.I blame myself - no way should I have gone through with it.

On the other hand, I married Mort's Dad 20 years ago. No ring, no money, barbecue in the garden and a barrel of beer. We've had 20 years of money worries, arguments, accidents, chronic ill health, bereavement and now cancer. On the other hand we have two wonderful children and life has never been boring, easy or taken for granted. I've never felt so happy, so at peace and so alive. 20 years later I have no idea what on earth is going to happen next but know that things get better every day.

So. My vote goes to a good marriage and the sense to spot one and hang on tight.

[The Mom]

It was a really busy day for me, so I could be wrong--however, I swear that your parents were at our wedding.

[The Gmama]

You're right, The Mom, we were at the wedding. I would also say that Steven's smile was a just a close second to that of The Dad's on that beautiful day!

[labelsareforjars]

LD -- You are too good always slipping some gentle pro-queer marriage words into your posts. Thanks for your bold support!

[Tracy]

I don't care how scarce they are.... you keep me reading! The last paragraph is pure poetry! Congrats Steven!!! Wishing you the best!

[Vikki]

Tequila - people love it or hate it and most who hate it, had too much of it at some point. Let's just say...

WOMEN'S RUGBY TEAM + FREE TEQUILA SHOTS =
No Wedding Lemonade for me...ever

Hopefully, I'll get the wedding part someday though.

[Angela]

Very well written, I'll drink to that!

[teaching kari]

For me it was accidentally drinking a big swig of my mom's Gin on the rocks, thinking it was ice water. Holy Cow. It was like rubbing alcohol flavored with Pine-sol. I was always cautious around her drinks after that. I think I was 7.

[Viaggiatore]

I had a 'first marriage' a lot like the one Mort's Mom describes, above. Now I have an amazing relationship (sans ring and ceremony) with a man whom I am desperately, deliriously, hysterically in love with. We joke regularly that we're not married, we're just jointly in debt. Should we ever decide to tie the knot, however (because we are among the fortunate segment of our society who enjoys this right, and it's ridiculous that it's not yet available to everyone), we will MOST DEFINITELY have Wedding Lemonade. Hell, I'm tempted to run to a Justice of the Peace just to be able to whip up a batch tonight ... and mostly to be able to say that we got married because of a drink recipe posted by a stranger on the internet. Yup, THAT would be worth the story! ;>

[Julia O'C]

Bah! You did it again: you had me laughing so hard that I had tears in my eyes, and then those tears began to fall in earnest. Well done.

[3-Martini Jennifer]

Well done, my friend!

[Michell]

Ok so the wedding lemonade sounds good. To me anyways but I have no complaints with tequilla. Your last paragraph is great. Very well said.

[beyond]

well said!
(i feel a bit sad that no one thought to bring a thermos of wedding lemonade to our city hall wedding...)

[giggleblue]

i've always been so thankful for your outward support! my little queer family loves you!

[Jen]

The last paragraph made be stand up and cheer. Which was awkward because I was using my laptop at the time. But it was totally worth it. You rock.

[Jake]

Well put!

I heard the other day that the county I'm from here in Ohio, which is one of the more "conservative" in the state, has a current divorce rate of 70%. Always interesting to me that those are the folks who are trying to declare who should and should not be married.

[Chickenpig]

I couldn't agree with you more. My wedding was beautiful and everyone was happy. People hooked up, people got engaged, I saw my uncle dance with a wreath of flowers on his head. Love was in the air. And our marriage, in spite of all the hardships, is a great one. Because of this, I am very optimistic about marriage. Weddings make me happy and excited. I want everyone to have what I have...EVERYONE! :)

Having twins on the other hand, should be reserved for only the strong, the brave, and the brilliant, otherwise we end up with presidents like George Bush.

[dimplecheek]

Because maybe if those of us who can marry did a better job of being married, there would be fewer people around who felt like marriage was something that needed defending.

Amen!

[Miss Britt]

Woah.

That's not where I thought this was going.

And yet, I'm not at all disappointed.

Maybe I'd like Wedding Lemonade.

[Carrie]

Hilarious. This sounds like how Taco Bell would make margaritas.

[Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah]

Well said.

[Barb]

Now I love tequila as much as the next person, actually probably a lot more than the next person but tequila with powdered lemonaide ~ eww!
As for marraige ~ my first one was a bust... but I knew it was going in (I didn't think I could back out) but am going on 22 yrs married to my best friend and it's still wonderful. I think EVERYONE should be allowed this right.

[Susan Skelley]

Brian,I loved this post. I don't know if you remember but when you and all the rest of the cousins were pre-school through middle school age, we adults drank this special mix at all the Sargent family reunions--mostly in New Braunfels. Your grandfather named it 'Border Buttermilk.' We even named it the official drink of the Sargent family reunions. Maple Nut Goodies were the official candy. Best times of our lives!